Emotional Abuse

Perhaps Camilla Cavendish was emotionally abused herself and has become deadened to it. If she admitted there was such a thing, then she'd have to look at her own upbringing. Some people can't hack it at that level.

Of course emotional abuse exists... it seems ludicrous to think otherwise! The article of which you speak wouldn't exist on-line, would it, Camilla? pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

Since when have lawyers been able to write everything in stone? lol. Rubbish. She needs to be mentally tortured - then shot. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

Can't see why it wouldn't be okay to provide a link, Camilla - I'd certainly like to visit and put in my twopenneth worth! Re the concept of "writing in stone"... surely the job of a lawyer is to interpret the vague aspects of law? And if they want a definition... http://www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/whatchildabuse/emotionalAbuse/emot... ... OK, it's not a rock solid definition, but what other definitions of abuse (generally), or other legal definitions for the matter, are ever rock solid? pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

I think the Jesuits would disagree with her as in their saying 'Give me a child 'til the age of seven and I'll show you the man.'

"I think the Jesuits would disagree with her as in their saying 'Give me a child 'til the age of seven and I'll show you the man.' God, does that *ever* make me feel guilty. I suffered some kind of post-natal psychosis for my son's first seven years (although I did try very hard not to inflict it on him!). He seems to have come out okay so far, although he hasn't entered the teenage years yet (oh help). We'll have to wait and see. I'm pretty sure he knows he's loved. Implying there's no such thing as emotional abuse because there's no legal standard for it is absurd.

I cannot agree more - I've seen the results of it far too many times for it not to exist. And posting a link would be fine!

I firmly believe emotional abuse exists, but I have issues with the Jesuits. People react to, recover from and are destroyed by abuse in different ways. For what it's worth, archergirl, I suffered a similar thing to you after my second child was born, and when I look back I have to accept that my eldest child did suffer some level of emotional abuse at that time. It does make you feel worse than crap but it is possible to work at restoring the relationship afterwards. My son is now nearly twenty and after some stormy times we have rebuilt the trust. The irony is that now, in the course of my work, I deal with issues of child abuse every day. I invite anyone who doesn't believe in emotional abuse to come and spend the day with me.

Here's the article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/camilla_cavendish/ar... The argument she's making isn't that there's no such thing as non-physical forms of abuse. It's an argument about how different forms of abuse are defined and responded to by Social Services. Beyond that, I have to admit that I don't actually understand the article well enough to have an opinion.

The article is an argument against 'know it when you see it' definitions in decision making that a legal implication. Cavendish is pointing out, I think, that she's against the idea that based on a particular definition of abuse, some people can be considered 'guilty' whilst others are not, depending on who they are rather than what has been done. I can see both sides of this one. To limit this would decrease the ability of Social Services to use broader measures of welfare in assessing child safety, but at the same time, it does increase the possibility of the judgement of professionals coming into conflict with the judgement or lives of individuals. It's much the same argument as that against ASBOs, in that both can make a certain behaviour or action, which is not illegal, have legal implications for an individual that are not shared by others in society. The implication with a bad judgement of this sort is 'You can do whatever you like to each other, as long as you're comfortable enough not to have needed help'. I, for the record, think an active social service is a good thing, and that the potential benefits far outway the potential dangers. Social Work is a 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' profession. Cheers, Mark

I figured I would put my two cents in at this point. I'm 17, well into my teenage years. I attend St. Francis Xavier H.S. which is a Jesuit school (AMDG, eh? lol). My father has spent a sufficient amount of time yelling at me, but I can't say that I have been emotionally abused. He knows he loses it sometimes and makes up for it in the end, but it's still quite unsettling. I can't be certain, but I believe I'm a decent enough young man. It's been said before, but emotional abuse is a complicated and very subjective topic. Except in the most extreme of cases, there is no definitive point where it can be stated that a child is emotionally abused by his or her parents. My father is a school psychologist and he deals with certain cases where the parent has emotionally abused the child, and it is very easy to see that. Miss Camilla Cavendish is "an moron", IMHO.

It's safe to say this thread is dead. What's done is done; learn from the past, live in the present, and look to the future. [html=http://theniceguychronicles.blogspot.com/]The Nice Guy Chronicles[/html]