The Day I Asked etc. by iandsmith

I've made some comments on the story. I'd be interested to hear what other people thought. Hopefully Ian will be, too. Cheers, Mark

I liked your "voice" in this piece.It is cockily self assured, without being annoying. It sets just the right mood for your story. I think most "normal people," like the narrator's girl friend, find writers and their primary passion in life, "scribbling" to be "rather odd." In the USA, your writer would have worn a corduroy jacket, with leather patches on the sleeves, and a turtle neck sweater underneath.He would have smoked a pipe as he lectured to the adoring students. Your protagonist would have also been booed, by the cogniscenti, when he sought to "puncture the bubble." Take a look at Jimmy Breslin or Norman Mailer. Both are iconoclasts who like to "puncture the bubble." Good effort. J.X.M