Tired...

Hi Lem, A friend put me on to this little trick recently - it's quite cute and neat. Basically, all it is is relating to yourself, the self that was you, when you were about three. Yep, just that, the little self that was you before all the bad things started to happen. She also says it's a good idea to give that small self another name from your first name - like using your second or third name? It's quite fun and amusing! David

Lem, I think you're an amazing person and the world is better off for having you in it. I also believe that people have alot of power inside them; more than they know and that even though just getting from day to day can feel like swimming the channel; that your strong enough to do it and beat whats getting you down. Sometimes, setting goals can help; working towards something. But it's always a bad idea, I feel, to start believing, "I'm not good enough". Not only is self belief an essential part of succeeding in life but also you can't measure a person according to how well they do academicaly like they're a racehorse. For example, there are people who aren't outstanding academically but go onto be rock guitarists or business tycoons or successful in some other way because they have other talents. Richard Branson, for example, was dyslexic but, apparently, he had great spatial awareness (a quality found more in the visual arts) and so, while he didn't do well at school he did astoundingly well in the world of business. Being a writer really helps me survive mentally too and having creative outlets like writing, art or music can often work better than any kind of therapy. Another thing about life, from my own experience, is that alot can happen in, say ten years. Ten years from now your life could be completely different; you could have a great job/degree/relationship, etcetera. Life isn't predictable. You should check out the film "Harold and Maude". It's really good about 'breaking out' and being who you want to be. This is just some music from it (soundtrack is by Cat Stevens) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYxOWPzZXBM JoHn - "Ex amore victoria". ("From love comes victory".)

I picked two of your poems to read at random - Butterfly Hands and Sandboy; if you are looking for a distraction please keep writing poetry like this because you use words beautifully and in unexpected and original ways. It sounds horrible how you are feeling now but there is good advice in the posts above. Don't let anyone tell you you're hopeless and please keep writing. All the best. :-)

Thanks for sharing this Lem, the truth is a lot of people have been through lows like this, even lows that last months and years. It's difficult to give advice, because if you've been down there at the bottom of the well then words don't really capture it. All I can say is I hope it works out for you, as I know you'll be a really special, stronger and more wonderful person when you come out the other end. Plus you'll have something really interesting to write about

Lem, that many of your fellow writers and friends have responded to your post is evidence that you are loved. You say if you kill yourself, it will hurt the people you're closest too, so that itself tells me that you are loved. Communicate with them and let them know your feelings. Whatever happened four years ago is now history. Even if your dilemna involves a serious crime, there's always time to start over again. I'm not sure about praying, as I admit to not being religious, but socialise and carry on writing. Use your poetry as an escape from your woes. Remember, you have so many friends on ABC Tales, who I'm certain will communicate with you on a regular basis. Chin up, mate.

Looks like you've come the right place for sympathetic advice. My obvious suggestion is that maybe you should start taking multivitamins and get some brisk exercise - wander lonely as a cloud but at a brisk clip. Tiredness and depression are often simply due to a lack of critical vitamins, especially if you drink a lot of coffee which many people who like writing tend to do. I think in out flights of fancy we tend to forget that the mind is sitting on top of a biological machine. Oddly enough its not that demanding, unlike a bloody car, but a minimal level of servicing is required. As for death, listen to Somerset Maugham: "Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it." Incidentally, you're a bloody good writer and will no doubt be famous for it one day and if not, what the hell, you'll be famous to yourself. I know I am.

Lem I agree with Blighters rock. You are in a community of friends and you should come and meet us so we can shake you by the hand for your tremendous writing. You have a great deal to offer.

new Lem Yes,I absolutely agree. AbcTaler's have so much to offer. And you are great writer, that is a terrific gift. I hope you can get to London. So many lovely people there. Hope to meet you. Yep! I think so many every day of their lives, and me all need, help some kind. Never let anyone put you down? Advice I came from big family nothing. None- of us got gsc is that right. Or had anything, clever talented pop. None of us out of six, picked up his playing violin accordian piano. And we didn't have help can get to-day. Just get up and take good breath fresh air. Try soft music, painting going cafe's anything.Mix in go shops, look beauty of nature around. Get a camera or binoculars. Great to here from you. All those medical things you mentioned the people! only go by what you or me say! Think positive,forget write down list good things, cross out the bad. Iv'e been there like you and many! Help somenone visit if you join something going on, maybe not done before. I may be giving sound advice, hope for you. Start writing on here, I know I talk rubbish! just because one is married, doesn't mean say all is well. Have to work at everything and married daughter. And so on. I like having a late layin, do me no good,so get up and out. Hope each day feel stronger, with our bits of love. One can pray just wherever you are? I know so I will for you. Lem. Whatever you do keep on keep on trying or take up. Hope I have put the right things down. Without puttimng to much. all the best. I am sure the Editor T.cook (Tony) Can and will, give you couple of ideas. julie xx