dear john by not_your_day

It really wasn't his day! Found out, bawled out and slung out; all told in a very clever style and with great vemon wrapped up in humour. Apart from one or two of the rhythms changing unexpectedly this read beautifully and told a story with real panache. Congratulations!

http://www.abctales.com/story/not_your_day/dear-john i think there are some great lines Your nose is large, and rather strange, your chin too small I can’t think of any thing at all that might have made us fall in love but the rythmn is choppy - as if it is not quite sure what it is, poem or prose. maybe reading some of the wonderful poetry on here will help you to improve your 'meter' (i think that is what it is called), so you can do your words real justice. i liked this one better, i thought its message about how life can get in the way of creativity was spot on. http://www.abctales.com/story/not_your_day/years-of-writing Juliet

Dunno a lot about poetry but as sky said all the stuff is straight to the point. Good stuff. nobody

Enjoyed this very much. Very dry. "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."