Flights of Fancy

http://www.abctales.com/story/martin_t/flights-of-fancy

I liked this Martin, especially the first three stanzas (although not entirely sure about 'via my card' - it takes a moment to work out)

Comments:-
-
this was all better that the
novel i was reading

Shurely (says the queen of typos and bad spelling) should read

this was all better than the
novel i was reading

-I find the word I in small case shouts 'look at me!' Unless there is a damn good reason why to use it or you are ee cummings, I wouldn't, but this is just me.

- Lineation,
later
in a tewkesbury pub

I can't see how the break helps the rhythm and would move all this onto one line. I would also move 'stalker' up and not have this alone in a line.

(My own lineation has always been quite poor so I am not talking from any hilltop, just comments that have arisen from my own endeavours to improve in this area.)

jude