Dullards, Boors and Morons

"Is it okay to hate them?" Absolutely! They are the dearth of website forums everywhere: viz this one. "Why do we feel so guilty about avoiding them?" I don't. I sometimes take them on but they are so secure in their numb-assed false sense of superiority that they proclaim themselves the victor. I usually don't reply. "Have you ever been called boring?" No. Although Pepsoid might have retorted to one of my wittier replies as such. "Do boring people ever grow out of it," No "or is it incurable?" Yes. Witness recent replies by Yan and Peaceful to recent boring threads. Nice to see a reg sending out the message that hated - by the boring ones - anon me has been saying for ages. Get rid of them and this site could be great again. Suffer them and die in the awfulness that has become uka and other such refugee sites.

This is a thread where I can really put my hands on my hips and feel like I'm part of a happening crowd. I look forward to next week's whining about bollards, drafts and public eyesores.

Wow, Dumbo. Way to turn a potentially abstract discussion into a series of personal attacks! I feel guilty about ignoring boring people. Last night, there was a classic example. I was taking to a friend who is extremely NICE but fantastically boring. All the work to make a conversation sparky lies with me. I chat to said boring friend. I feel nervous. I feel awkward. I see someone else who is more interesting. I say "hang on a minite I'm just going to speak to so and so". I start speaking to the interesting person and all memory of boring person standigng behind me waiting disappears from my mind. I never return to boring person. Much later, hours later, in a burbling of conciousness, I have an image of boring person standing alone, watching me talk to someone else, waiting for me to come back and speak to them. Which I never do. Then, after a while, boring person goes home. Awful. I think that, to be boring and know that you were boring and, still, not be able to do anything about it would be unbelievably terrible. You'd be constantly looking for the dipping eyelids and distracted tics of someone losing interest. Joe Joe

Being a software engineer, me and most of my friends are insufferably dull, except to other software engineers.

Sorry, I drifted off there. What were you saying?

I think that rude people are boring. After all what's boring to one person can be fascinating to another. Just because you find someone slightly tedious it doesn't mean we all do. I can be loud, bumptious and boring at times - and my good friends just laugh and tell me to shut up. If I don't they throw things at me. It works very well. I can also be witty, amusing and good company at other times. It's not a hard and fast rule. So to label a person as 'boring' is daft - talk to them a bit more and see if there is something you have in common. There may not be - in which case, avoid them. They'll probably think you are 'boring' too. Life is far too complex for these easy niches.

I don't think that's entirely true, Tony. Being 'interesting' is largely to do with the way that you communicate, not the things you are saying/thinking. I'm sure that everyone has interesting thoughts but not everyone can communicate in an engaging way. I'm not saying that everyone needs to speak like a chat show host but there are certain things that need: charisma, mostly. Listening to someone who is a charisma-vacuum is much more difficult than someone who is not. It doesn't matter what they are saying. Joe

When I'm talking to someone I find boring, I always have the huge feeling that they're finding me boring too. It's like there's something in the communication that's missing. I can't put my finger on why some people are boring to me and some people aren't. Talk without content (where do you live, what do you do etc.)does my nut in, because it feels like having a conversation on rails moving toward an agreed destination. The thing I find most boring is when people paste together sentences that don't really mean anything, then look at you like you've done an eggy pump when you ask them to explain, give more detail or say how something feels, smells or tasted. Cheers, Mark

Boring is relative. pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

There are undoubtedly some people who communicate better with a larger number of people than others - but everyone connects with someone, at some time. Some people find Jonathan Ross boring, others find Bill Gates boring. Of course not many people who are widely regarded as boring become famous - because they can't communicate as well. But there will be something interesting about them, probably. It may just take a little time to discover it - and you might well not be arsed to do so. I guess it comes down to time management.

I don't think I've ever met someone who is immediately interesting, except in the sense that they might have an odd manner about them. As a general rule, those who display the most 'charisma' initially turn out to be the most insufferable in the long term, and actually have nothing to say, and spend most of their time reeling off anecdotes about themselves, while those who're initially quiet and talk about the weather turn out to be the most fascinating characters. "When I'm talking to someone I find boring, I always have the huge feeling that they're finding me boring too." Yes, I think it's safe to assume, in most cases, that if someone is talking to you in a really boring way, they are probably trying to get the conversation over with. Most people can't help being interesting once they start discussing a topic they actually care about, rather than have a passing interest in. Whether you're actually on the lookout for interesting people as opposed to people who're easy to get on with is another matter.

Everyone's boring in the wrong company.

I don't consider people boring in any way. I never have met an un intelligent Human being. When I look at individuals, or groups of, or even Society's of, I see complex Social group dynamics, unfathomable geometric mathematics and an ever diverging Human condition. Human beings are far to complex to ever be considered boring or morons.There is always something interesting in what a person has to say, or in how they say it and even in the true motivation behind why they say it. You just have to look below the services of the person.

There's one guy who I recently met; he lives down my road. At first I found him extremeley boring to talk to - he seemed only to respond to questions, and then stop dead. I found it hard work, not to mention tedious. I began to feel paranoid - that it was really him who was finding me boring, hence the lack of engagement during conversation. It took a good few months of easing him out of his shell - and a few drinks - before he confided that he has always suffered from long bouts of depression. It all became clear at that point. I'm thankful that I didn't write him off as a bore, or write myself off as boring. Now we've peeled off a few layers, and we understand each other, I find myself reading him better, and know when he needs a little helping hand. That's what counts. On the other hand, the people I find boring are those who never stop waffling on, are full of themselves, and are pretty obviously spoiled and shallow. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

I'm with John: I find everyone interesting, even dullards, boors, and morons. No, *especially* dullards, boors and morons. They got that way, somehow. How? I want to know.

Yes, human beings are generally interesting - if you dig deep enough. They may be insufferable, annoying or depressing, but still interesting. JC makes an... erm, interesting... point: "Whether you're actually on the lookout for interesting people as opposed to people who're easy to get on with is another matter." A valuable distinction! To which I shall add... Still waters run deep, but froth is insubstantial. pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The thing about being boring is that the 'bore' probably doesn't think he is boring. So how do I know that I am not boring to other people and have just never cottoned on? I find deliberately loud contrived extroverts boring. Generally people who make too much of an effort to be the 'life and soul' fail, dismally. I also find cocaine makes such people even more boring. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Maybe you should stop sniffing it, then, Jude.

Jude - you are not boring - or anywhere near it! And I agree, cocaine makes interesting people boring and people who can bore into massive idiots.

Tony, I must mix in different circles to you and Jude, because I wouldn't recognise the effect of Cocaine.

being a single dad (single dads rule!) and finding myself isolated and lonely most of the time, any contact with adults interests me. Craving the company of other adults makes you realise just how bloody awesome everyone is - when you need them to be! When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

Personally... I have a bl'm'n hard time of it thinking of a single person whose presence I have become aware of via ABC Tales, who I would consider to be "boring." Boringness, IMO, is not the issue. But then perhaps I can't remember who the boring people are, because they are so boring? Hmm... :/ pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

*Boring is relative* so does it follow that relative is boring?

it depends who the relative is!

:D When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

there is always a reason as to why people are boring.i beleive sometimes its just one of the mood swings a person is in.in my personal experience i have found that the usually branded boring people or the popular dullards are exceptionaly unique and interesting people when they are turned on or excited.in most of the cases the truth is they are hiding something,and beleive me its always something unusual and amusing. its not ok to hate them but i guess its ok to avoid them(or better make them avoid you) if you feel guilty after avoiding someone then most definetely dont avoid them in future.if your feeling guilty then oviously you've found something interesting,so go figure out what amuses you about the person. have i've been called boring? not really instead i'v learnt over the years to get along with the most detestable bores.the key is get them excited,afterall they are just a less evolved human species.they are temporarily curable.

I don't think dullness is even the real issue that Tim or Radiodumbo have with certain people on this site. What Pepsoid does, at his worst, is either post on matters that are so trivial they do not really invite any kind of response or opinion, apart from a sort of acknowledgment, or else contribute to a more inflammatory issue with a wholly non-confontational, non-point of view-taking post that again is impossible to get one's teeth into. It's clear from Radiodumbo's (and Tim's) reaction that they are irritated and annoyed by him, rather than bored, but of course, if you say someone irritates you, they can always come back with such fatuousness as "Well, I'm *glad* I annoy you - if I annoy you, then I am doing good work - it amuses me that I annoy you. Annoying you is the very reason I post here, and as long as I continue to annoy you, my posts are justified". See Radiodenver's response to every instance in which I voice annoyance at him (and the line is cast). So it's much more tactical, as part of a campaign of disgruntlement against an individual, to complain of being bored by them. That's why, not so much in the present but in the past, it was a favoured tack of some clever ABCTalers to just write "*Yawn*" as a response to someone's post. It's an expedient way to attack someone that leaves little room for rebuke.

*Yawn*

I think you're spot-on there, Jack. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

Agreed! Of course, if one sees through the "Yawn" factor (as I would like to think that I do), then this also fails to have its desired effect. Yan, AG and all other members of the "Boring ABCers Club"... let's raise a toast to our continued existence! ;) pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

Well someone's got to be a sober particpant during these wild times. I mean, threads like, "Worst towns and cities to drive in the UK - excluding London"! Whoah...I don't think I've ever been so excited. Next we'll be onto the hard stuff like the eurovision song contest. Oops! When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

I assure you, I have never been sober and on this site at the same time. Cheers *hic*

Been spending a lot of time involuntarily placed in close proximity with someone at work who contains all the right ingredients to be exceptionally interesting and engaging - they've lived in unusual places, in unfamiliar circumstances, we like similar things, so there's potential for conversation right there, and the person in question undergoes interesting projects and explorations, but ah. They then proceed to undo all that good work and render themselves a social leper by not only talking ON and ON about themselves till even throwing biplanes into the air single-handed would become stale as an anecdote, but by being singularly uninterested in anything anybody else has to say. This to the point of 'hijacking' conversations to steer them round to their own stories again. It seems they yak on about their packed itinerary not to start discussions, but to reassure not just the rest of the world, but also themselves, that they're interesting, simultaneously boring the pants off everyone in the process. It's gotten to the point now, a bit like reopening a fresh wound, where I can hardly stand to listen to their voice. Perhaps we'd all be a bit more tolerant if they didn't leap in on our discourses, beginning every sentence with "Well, I...", or "When I was in 'nam..." (slight exaggeration, but you get the idea). Honestly, sometimes you try and work out a tactful way of asking them not to me!me!me! their way in, but there's no nice way of saying it, so we all shut up and carry on and the cycle repeats. Apologies for the rant. My point was, I think, that boring is not about what you've done or haven't done, but about how you interact. Give and take, and all that jazz. Singularly unhelpful post, I'm afraid, stating the obvious in supreme fashion. Bah, but I've typed it now. Aaaand send. "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy."

lol :~) That IS annoying. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

This thread becomes so much more interesting if you see "boring" as a verb, rather than an adjective.

tee hee! ;) pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)