Oust

i was just peering at 'polar necks' thinking ... aaah that must be how it is spelt ... maybe i have never seen it written before ... cor BBF is so clever ... then i realised that i think it is polo necks ... but polar is much better ... i think i better get some gingko ...

shall i get some gingko for you, too?

I hate to admit it, but 9/10 I drink through a straw. I dont care if it makes me look like a little girl. lady on advert go screw. It makes a mundane action fun. As does drinking hot ribena off a teaspoon, you should all try it. yup, fun. Span

i haven't seen the oust advert but i gladly take your word on it. the "scriptwriter" guy in the toothpaste ads looks like a robot version of alan partridge. and span...you hot-spoon ribena? how flippin' hardcore are you? that's really rock n roll.

I hate npower adverts - could be something to do with the fact that I used to work there. I also hate all adverts for spot cream. :-) * P * :-)

according to the only authoratitive source I know on the subject, bourbons and gingernuts both rank within the top fifteen best biscuits in the world. http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/favourites/ Unfortunately it only ranks them overall and not for dunking, where I'm sure they'd do even better.

'That last comment was appropos of nothing, but I thought I should point it out.' Uh - apropos of *wrong*, maybe. It's plain chocolate digestives all the way. That's not even subjective - it's scientific fact.

so you think the Honda adverts are cool eh? I would too except for one little thing...... "did you know the most comon word in the English language is 'OK'?" "What if the most common word was 'what if'?" IT'S TWO FRIGGIN WORDS YOU ARSEHEADED DOLT! Most ads get me seething but that's my problem. there are so many that they've all blurred into a grey mist of pain in my consciousness.

Bring on the pixie but leakage! Jammie dodgers and Ginger creams. Yes. And yup, Ribena off a spoon is rock and roll. Go try then you'll see. Its alright with lime and hot water. I have given up tea and smoking, I am having to be inventive. I wish I could comment on the adverts, but no TV. I am becoming some sort of Ribena fuelled puritan. Span

"their faces look like they forgot to choose Sensodyn" The advertiser behind that advert would have a big grin across his face on reading this, as it is precisely the idea he/she would want implanted in our brains... and you seem to have come to this idea 'independently' Now I know this was said in jest and after concious deliberation (it is funny)... but how many people actually expend a lot of thought whilst shopping for toothpaste... And generally they are right. It makes sense not to, otherwise, one would never leave a supermarket because of the potential for all these little decisions. Statistically, you would find that Sensodyn would feature in a lot of baskets after a campaign like that. It is not because people are 'stupid', but a lot of decisions are relegated to our unconcious and there these 'associations' have already been planted 'crudely' by adverts. It is at the hinterland of concious and unconscious thought that 'clever' advertisers target... and they do this on a real scientific basis as I was alluding to on other threads. It is why at a fully concious level we find many adverts ludicrous, and say so, but yet they laugh all the way to the bank. I used to think adverts never impacted me and only stupid people were swayed (a part of me still likes to cling to that idea). I now know that I am prone to this sort of marketing just like everyone else... especially when time is at a premium. The converse is also true, if one deliberately goes out of ones way to avoid buying things because one disliked the adverts... how much valuable conciousness time would one be wasting on trivial decisions like buying toothpaste... would it be worth it? Aaah. to be human in the modern world!

Okay - you may have soured my enjoyment of plain chocolate digestive dunking for all time with that unwarranted eldritch fecal metaphor, such is your power over language. Serves me right for breaking up the ginger nut love-in, I suppose...

ha ha ha

Well, you've probably done me a favour. It's freshly juiced fruit and veg mixes for me all the way, now. (and there's nothing you can say that could possibly make sprout juice more disgusting than it already is)

carrot juice. thats good. with ginger. too much though and you turn orange. i would love to see an orange tim! Span

Yes there is - but 'm not telling you as it would be illegal. As for ads - I do like the singing one that makes car sounds. It's a copy of an artist's work I saw a couple of years ago - most of them just rip off poor old artists and give them no credit at all, not even any money! But I never know what any ad is for. I think I've got clever that way and fooled them. I look at the pictures, I listen to the music but I don't listen to the words and I don't look at the logos - so, voila, they don't work on me. Just off to brighten my teeth with McLeans.

errrr.. forgive the long post stuck inapropriately in there... Can't do soft and fluffy these days... think too much! Have to admit I like a good ginger biscuit dunk as anybody else... the ones at Sainsburies with real stem ginger bits in them, especially. I agree that chocolate dunks taste good but leave the tea disgusting... and having to finish off those last bits at the end makes me shudder (I feel guilty if I don't)

we were mainlining neat ribena only the other week (well we had a syringe full, we didn't actually inject - the wonderful world of movie making)

I used to love the Persil ad where the kid's football kit got mixed up with his jam sandwiches. They cut the dialogue wrong so he said, 'Oh no! My sandwiches! Muh-' Instead of 'Mum!' It was so funny. You couldn't notice unless someone pointed it out, then it became glaringly obvious.

I'm with Pepsoid on this one, adverts for spot cream are vile especially the one where they tear their spotty teenaged faces off and throw them in the bin or the gutter, ugh. I also detest adverts for sanitary towels, with or without wings, and their stupid promises that you can still wear skimpy underwear whilst using them, utter crap...sanitary towels do not mix with silky briefs or thongs, the only underwear that you can possibly wear with them is great big scary Bridget Jones pants, and even then you spend all day dashing to the loo in a panic in case towel has moved or is visible through jeans.

and if the wings do unstick themselves from your knickers they firmly attach themselves to your pubic hair with the ferocity of the strongest superglue, don't tell you that in the Always adverts do they?

Oh and don't even get me started on bloody Tampax Compak, just how stupid would anyone have to be to think that they look remotely like a sweet?

Hmmm bad choice of words there.

and is absorbant! Span

that tampon ad should end with: " Horrible isn't it? but it's a bowl of cherries compared with getting a raging boner just as you run to your mum wearing 1970's running shorts having just come second in the high jump and only realising, fifteen years later, why she started pissing herself when you told her you thought you were going to come first. So wear jamrags and be grateful that nothing in your panties moves without your say so." TAMPONS- WHAT GOES ON DOWN THERE STAYS DOWN THERE

I don't seem to catch any adverts nowadays as I don't watch terrestrial TV. However I was in Blockbusters today and I heard an advert against copied films - it went something like : "You never know what to expect from a pirate DVD..." and I thought "True, never seems to be any pirates in them."

Patrick once asked me that if he took a wad of cotton wool and strapped it to his cock would he want to play football energetically, jump out of aeroplanes and saunter down the street with a big smile and easy saunter?

...and apparently, according to viz, in that tampax football advert, the sickenly enthusiastic woman who scores the goal is definitely offside.

do you know Fergal, I've always wanted to go into advertising... no seriously. I love thinking up tag lines and shit. I sometimes spend hours thinking up ads for things to the point where my mate will excitedly say "that's brilliant! you should storyboard it and pitch it to Saachi and Saachi, they might give you a job! I'm Serious man! come on, it can happen!!!"" Then I gently take the string that I tie to his ankle for just such occasions and pull him back to earth with a sad shake of the head. Ah the joys of a reality where dreams burst like washing up bubbles on a concrete elephant's arse with every rejection letter from an agent who's just spent the day knocking on Jodie Marsh's door begging her to put pen to paper and sign the five book contract he's holding. "... You know, Jodie, they're those foldy things with the words in, like a paper sandwich, or a copy of 'hello' with no pictures!"

I could cheerfully stick an ice pick in the head of the grey haired woman who's sitting cross-legged and saying to a chimp that's holding a doll "is that your bayyyybeeee, you love your bayyyybeeee." And the 'quote me happy' ads where various morons kick their legs in the air because they've supposedly got a better deal on their car insurance. I now sit with the remote in my hand, at the ready.

he says, "It's a hatchback and I'd like you to quote me happy!" like it's as easy as that getting insurance. If there was any resemblance to reality it'd cut back to him an hour later saying, ".. look is all this really necessary, I only want car insurance- sorry- yes I understand you need to- what? oh, err capricorn." "no, not for a couple of years and that was to Tenerife." "what! look are you absolutely sure this is- ok, I'm sorry, yes I understand... well if you must know probably doggy style!"