True Blue

Teflon coated and shiny, resembling a large saucepan, the rocketship
"True Blue" that had taken so long to build was now in flight at last,
en route to the way station on the Moon. At the controls was Scott
Wendell, the ship's commander. His crew stood behind him wearing a
mixed uniform of grey cloth with silver applique. There was Nova Ray
the ship's doctor, she was quite tall and smelt of peppermint. Next to
her stood Doctor Ramses, the ship's philologist and person they turned
to when something happened they hadnt a clue about. Next to the Doctor
stood Adam Strong who was quite weedy actually, and was the ships radio
officer. Nobody called him Sparks. And finally there was Juno Lars the
ships engineer. Juno wasnt even Scottish, nor was she a man. In fact
the term blonde bimbo sprang to mind whenever anyone looked at her.
Nova was brunette and as pretty but not more so than Juno. Scott didnt
have a beard and looked quite serious most of the time on account of
his worried expression.

"We made it, Scott," said Nova draping herself over the seat and
annoying the heck out of Juno who was insanely jealous of any woman
getting within fifteen feet of her beloved commander.

"You been at the mints again, Nova?" Scott asked. "I was just wondering
if you had any on you."

"Only two left," Nova said, giving a pointed stare at Juno, who looked
on the verge of apoplexy. "Want one, Scott?"

"Thanks," Scott said, taking a mint.

Doctor Ramses harrumphed. Nova looked up and gave him a sly look as she
slipped the last mint in her mouth.

"I shall have a jelly baby then," he announced.

Adam felt in his pockets and pulled out a tube of Spangles. Juno
started drooling, she loved Spangles more than she loved Scott. Adam
noticed Juno drooling and wiped his shoulder.

"Give me one," Juno said to Adam.

"I can't, I am not off duty till six," Adam replied. "Will a spangle
do? You've gone red. Why?"

Scott checked the course and then locked the autopilot. "I'm going for
a shower," he announced. "Since we lost 50\\% of all our water supply
on lift off, I think we ought to share showers. Anyone need a
shower?"

Everyone shook their heads, apart from Juno.

"Well, off you go, put the plug in and I will wash in the water you
leave behind."

"But I thought....?" Juno began, almost on the verge of tears.

"Adam, give her another Spangle, there's a good chap," Scott said. Juno
stormed off. Nova turned to Scott and mentioned she needed to treat him
for stress in the medical room.

After they had gone, Adam and Ramses sat at the navigation table and
started playing cards. A bottle of whisky stood on the table, and the
level in it dropped slowly over the next hour.

After two hours, and 43 games of Snap, Adam fell off his chair and
passed out. Ramses drained the bottle and went off to the galley to
cook himself a massive fryup, as he was also the cook.

Suddenly the proximity alarm sounded, and everyone rushed to the
cockpit to see what was happening. Juno was naked apart from a pair of
shorts, her boots and a t shirt that proclaimed "I'm Easy, Try Me"
which Scott thought was cute and Nova thought was some kind of sub
conscious statement about how she viewed physical relationships. Nova
and Scott were in their underwear, but nobody noticed. Ramses had
grease on his beard, and Adam was still unconscious. Then it came into
view. It was a giant cabbage, about half a mile wide heading straight
towards them!

"We're doomed," Ramses said. "There's no way we can avoid a cabbage
that big, and I hate cabbage, you know."

Scott sat down in the pilot's chair and turned off the autopilot. "I
have an idea," he said. "I think I can try to land on the cabbage's
surface. We may be able to then blast off when it is safe."

Adam woke up at that point and said "That's a big cabbage. What's it
doing in space?"

"I daresay we would all like to know the answer to that," said
Ramses.

"Well you're the doc, tell us?" Nova said, wishing she hadn't worn the
skimpiest underwear in her possession.

**In next weeks' episode: Into the heart of the cabbage...what happened
when Juno was attacked by man eating sprouts...why Nova and Scott didnt
have time to put their clothes on...Ramses does some more cooking...and
Adam's strange dream....**