Calais to Dover

It was when we first went to France
I realised we had different ideas of romance
you wanted a romantic picnic
on top of the Eiffel Tower
I wanted to go back to our hotel
and get you in the shower.
I bought you brekfast fresh from the boulangerie
but I still didn't get to see
you in your lingerie.
We overlooked Paris
on a romantic ride in a hot air balloon
but still you didn't agree
we should upgrade to a double room.
I thought if I cooked you a romantic meal
I'd find the courage to tell you how I feel.
I took you for a walk under the moonlit sky
but it led to nothing and I don't know why.
I pointed out The Big Dipper and The Great Bear
but it didn't get me any closer
to seeing you in your underwear
yeah I pointed out Alpha Centauri
but it still didn't make you feel horny.
I pointed out all the constellations
in the hope of a more romantic conversation.

When we arrived last week in Calais
I thought I was going to get my way
But docking back here in Dover
I have to admit, it's all over.