Bad Pub Guide

At The Admiral
I saluted stiffly
While you sank galleons of grog
Drowning your mutinous sorrows.

At The Hanged Man
I downed claret
Till I almost choked;
You woke up with a sore throat.

At The Nag's Head
You criticised my drinking '
'It's too much,' you said,
'Our whole relationship's based round booze.'

At The Star
I promised that when my novel
Made me famous, I'd buy you a yacht
Complete with mini-bar.

At The Rat and Parrot
I lied
When I said I'd never cheated
And you repeated the same old shit.

At The Priory
We endured Bloody Marys
And you said, 'Oh God,'
And I was unrepentant.

At The Crypt
It was dead;
Alone, I sang requiems to my brandy glass,
Till everything went black.