Upstairs, downstairs

Andy phones his mate downstairs
to say: I’m in her arse right now
because Pete really gets off
on these sorts of scenarios:
a girl so pissed she doesn’t
notice the phone balanced
between her shoulder blades.

But the girl’s asleep in her vomit,
and Andy’s in the en suite,
which would explain the reverb
as he says: Pete, yeah mate, Pete, take it,
because he knows how to make
his friends happy.

Still, it hurts.
Nobody can pretend it doesn’t hurt.
And Pete laughing, roaring
– in total disbelief –
that something like this could happen.