Bamboo

"Hit me baby one more time"
you said to my granddad
thinking it was me.

He had never seen a thong before
in his days it was bloomers
and girls rarely patted their bare arses
with bamboo.

Over the next two weeks he developed
an unhealthy obsession with MTV
and I caught him flicking through Nuts magazine
in Asda.
He completely lost all interest

in restoring garden furniture,
he stopped going on his long walks in the country
and started to grow his hair
like Neil Morrissey.