The Smoko

Cast of Characters ' Factory Workers

Sketer ' The Boss
Slick- The Young Apprentice
Jacko- The Truck Driver
China 'The Carpenter
Shifty- The Storeman
Dags- All Rounder
Rusty-The Spray Painter

Setting .

It is lunch break time outside the factory of a furniture manufacturer . There are a half a dozen empty chairs placed in a circle . A large empty tin or drum sits in the middle of the circle .
Some other items would include wooden chairs and tables that are made in the factory there may be some planks of wood , timber sheets, some tubular steel on wooden pallets, and lengths of 4 by 2 . On the ground there is a lot of rubbish strew around on the ground . Empty soft drink cans and milk cartons, plastic bags and food wrappers , empty cigarette packets and scrunched up pieces of paper .
The stage is lighted dimly before the crew take their seats for lunch. In the background there is the industrious sound of hammers banging , rivet popping , drilling , grinding , and sawing , etc.
Suddenly the lunch hooter sounds and all the noise stops . Now in the silence is another sound . Workers making there way on to the set for their Smoko .

The Plot

All over Australia there is a traditional thing affectionately called the Smoko Break . It is this time in the workplace workers stop for a break .
Some workers spend their Smoko at the Pub or club , others sit at their desk maybe there are some who park on the side of a highway . Others meet in a café or at a quiet table in a park . The majority of workers spend their smoko break together in a friendly atmosphere sharing things that they are doing .
Generally speaking most Smoko breaks only last for a half hour where several workers would sit down together chatting away, sharing a joke and complaining about this that or the other thing .
The idea in this play is to bring alive what can happen during Smoko break in most places each day .

Action Begins '

Two by two the workers enter on stage . They are carrying lunch boxes , flasks , and cups . Each worker takes their seat . As soon as the six workers take their seat and begin to eat their lunch Skete , the leading hand walks into the company . He is drinking beer from a bottle and looks like he has had a little too much to drink . He bends down here and there picking up empty soft drink cans from the ground and attempts to throw them into the large drum placed in the centre of the seated workers . He is not a great shot .

Dialogue begins

Sketer ' "Look at this .

Dags- (Smans )

Sketer-"Something funny Dags ?

Dags -"What do you know Sketer ?"

Sketer- "I'll tell you what I know . I'm the boss around here and you're not . (He takes another swig from the bottle )
I'm not going to put up with it . "

Dags '" Put up with what ?"

(Sketer picks up some more rubbish and tries to throw it into the large drum )

Sketer -"Yes take a good look ."

Dags '"Yea we're all looking all right . What's the problem ?

Sketer-"I'm sick of all this rubbish lying around .

Dags- "Its not my job ."

Sketer-"That's no excuse and if you all have that attitude then it won't be your job anymore, because you'll all be out the door . Pick up your rubbish and put it in the bin . (he finishes the bottle and tosses it to the ground )
Now Dags after lunch I want you to pick up the rubbish on the ground and sweep give this area a good going over ."

Dags-"Is there anything else or can I have my lunch?

Sketer-"I know it would be better if you we're here Dags . So I'll tell you what if you have a problem why don't you see me after lunch is over and I can arrange your departure ."

Dags-"That won't be necessary Sketer . I don't have a problem ."

Sketer '"What do you know Rusty ?

Rusty-"Well Sketer I have to agree with you . This place is a mess ."

Sketer-"You wouldn't treat your place like this would you ?

Rusty-"I have to agree with you again Sketer .

Sketer-" So Rusty , I'm giving you the job off dobbing in anybody who you see throwing rubbish around . If I am told of anybody who is seen throwing their rubbish around I'll see to it personally that they are paid up and sent ."

Rusty '"I'll see to that Sketer ."

Sketer '" Shifty what do you know "

Shifty-" The store doesn't have any brooms . We'll need to order some new brooms Sketer .

Sketer- Right then I'll order them and I want you to put them into use . That will be your new job as well as running the store . Do I make myself clear .So as soon as the brooms arrive put your name on them Shifty .

Shifty- (Sighs) I've a stocktake to do next week and you know how busy that is Sketer . "

Sketer-"Then have a look at your time management and work out a plan of action . Time to count and make time to clean up . I'll be inspecting the store each day . So what do you know China ?

China-"I always pick up my rubbish Sketer . You know that .

Sketer '"I'm addressing the problem here ,not you China ."

China '" Ok Sketer .

Sketer-I've seen better looking garbage tips that this place ."

China '"I don't know who leaves all this rubbish lying around Sketer but I can tell you it's not us ."

Sketer-"What do you know Slick ?

Slick-"(Speaking with his mouth full ) I am just the apprentice Sketer . Sure I don't know all that much but I know it's not us making all this mess.

Sketer Well correct me if I'm wrong but as far as I know you are the only six people who have Smoko here . Am I right ? 

Slick- "Yea that's right ."

Sketer '"Then clean up your act or you will be out the door . So what do you know Jacko ? "

Jacko '" I'm out in the truck most of the time Sketer . So I don't usually have Smoko here . I'm always pushing time doing deliveries . "

Sketer- "Have you seen the state of the truck ? Its filthy Jacko .After Smoko give the truck a wash and vacume out the inside before you do another load and I'd suggest once you have it clean that it stays that way . Ok "

Jacko-" No problem Sketer ."

Sketer Right then hurry up Smoko is almost over .,(He walks away )

China '"Its not right that he interrupts us during our smoko break . If he wants to talk about work issues he should do it in his time not on our break .

Jacko ' "Too right China . "

China '" He's a bloody pain ."

Jacko-He's more than a pain . We should all go and tell him what to do . "

Rusty-" It's a job and they're hard to find these days ."

Shifty "Its all about control . He wants us to feel inferior ."

Slick-"Part of my training as an apprentice this year involved watching some educational videos . I think there is a case of workplace harassment here .

Dags-What can we do about it ?

Slick-The policy on work place bulling is to report or record each incident that occurs and speak to the management about it ."

Dags '"But he is management here ?

Slick '"Leave it with me and I'll talk to the teacher at college next week ."

Jacko-"He gives me the shits ."

Shifty-"Why don't you tell him where to go Jacko ."

Jacko "I need the job mate.

Slick-"I am in the same boat . I want to finish my trade and have to follow orders . But I do know the employer has to follow the proper policies and procedures . There are guidelines about safety in the workplace ."

Dags- "That's where we are all dead in the water . OH&S mate ."

Slick-"That's right ."

China ' "So what is this OH&S ?

Dags" Occupational health and safety mate . If the work place is say untidy it may also be unsafe . It then would be an issue that the employer has to take up . That is the reason why we are told to keep the workplace clean ."

Rusty '" That's a good point Dags . There is another issue here we need to talk about . We all know we don't throw rubbish around . I think there must be somebody else the mess . Maybe we need to keep our eyes open .

China ' Ok I'm on the job . I don't mind being the all rounder . Leave the cleaning up to me ,I'll get things sorted out after smoko .

Jacko- I'd like to help but I have to get the vacume out and wash the truck before loading up . By the time I'm on the road it will be the peak hour ."

Shifty-"I'll tell you what I'd like to do with the broom he going to order >

Rusty "He would feel a thing mate . No brain , no pain ."

(Everyone laughs )

Dags-"Nice one Rusty.

China-" I think Slick has the right answer . It is harassment in the work place 

Shifty-"Yea sure . Workers used to have a say but with the new industrial relations we don't have a hope of being heard ."

China-"Well we are all union members .

Shifty '"Yea so what . Are you prepared to go out on strike over keeping the workplace clean China ."

China '" He should still not be allowed to talk to the workers during their smoko break . "

Shifty-"Things have changed mate . We don't have the rights we used to ."

China '"I'll tell you what the next time he comes and interrupts our smoko break , I'm standing up and walking away .

Slick-"I'll be right behind you China "

Dags- "Me too . Any second for that "

All agree saying

All "Yea "

Rusty- What does the poor worker have to do to get a fair go these days ?

China ' Yea , have you finished off that foreign order for me yet Rusty ?

Rusty '" I've got to give it another coat and then I'll put it in the oven overnight so it should be finished for you to take home tomorrow China ."

China -"Thanks mate . I owe you one "

Rusty-" Buy me a schooner after we knock off work and we'll call it even .

Dags- "My brother Davo has a dog going around tonight at the track . Its in race three coming out of out box 2 . Georgie Girl ,she's one of the best dogs in the country at the minute . Mums the word . You should get five to one . :

Rusty '" What track is she running at Dags .

Dags Wenty Park Mate ."

China-"Georgie Girl  .

Dags '"Davo reckons she got it in the bag ."

China-"Thanks mate . I'll put something on the nose ."

Shifty-"Might be worth a few even ."

Slick '" Didn''t you say Davo has three dogs Dags ?

Dags-"Yea they're all bitches but Georgie Girl is his best ."

China '"Are you going to the track Dags?

Dags-" Yea mate . Keep an eye out . I'll be there about six thirty ."

China '" Ok I'll see you at the bar ."

Rusty-"Keep your eye open , I'm just grabbing a length of timber ."

(Rusty gets up and leaves )

Slick-"He's Game "

Dags-" He'll get caught one day . "

Shifty '"Rusty has built his new kitchen with scraps and off cuts from the factory floor . I suppose some of us can get away with it ."

Jacko-" You should talk . What about the timber I've dropped off at your place last year . You put in that deck and a new floor with it ."

Shifty-"They never missed it ."

Jacko '" That's only because you run the store and can work the invoices to suit yourself . They only miss it because that's the you arranged it .

Everybody has a laugh

China ' "You're good value Jacko ."

Jacko-" I'll pick you up for church on Sunday China ."

China '" (Laughs) No worries ."

Slick- "Look out here comes Sketer ."

Jacko-Stall him China . I'll go and give Rusty the drum.

Slick-"Wait on where's he's gone.

Rusty walks on stage with some lengths of timber in his hands .
He is followed by Sketer who puts his hand on his shoulder .

Sketer- Where do you think you're going with that timber Rusty ? "

Rusty-"Into the back of my car Sketer. Where lese ?

Sketer-"Right mate you can follow me to the front office right now ."

Rusty-"What's it to you mate . They're only bits of scrap .

Sketer '"I don't care of they're scrap or not .You should have asked first There is no excuse for stealing and now you're out of a job . "

Rusty-" That's fine . I never really wanted to stay here much longer anyway ."

Sketer-"I'm sorry mate but you gave me no choice. Pick up what belongs to you and come into my office ."

Rusty drops the timber to the floor . Sketer walk off .

Rusty -"See you lads.

All '"Hooray mate. 

Rusty-I'll see you down in the pub after knock off time ."

As Rusty walks off China gets to his feet and lifts a piece of timber and throws in away in anger.

China-" Stupid idiot . There goes my foreign order up the spout "

Sketer returns to hear what China had said .

Sketer '" What foreign order would that be China ."

China '"A picture frame for my wife's birthday ."

Sketer-"Right China . You can also follow in the footsteps of your ex- work colleague . I want you to collect your belongings and come up t the office straight away . You no longer have a job here . You are aware of the policies here and we do not accept thieving in any shape or form . "

Jacko- (mutters)

Sketer-"Did I hear you correctly . Did you imply that my Mother and Father were not married when I was born ?

Jacko-"I was just going to say you're being a little hard on the lads

Sketer-" Piss off . I'm in charge here not you . Get it . "

Jacko walks over and picks up a piece of 4 by 2 timber and walks over to Sketer . He eye balls him then puts the timber into the empty drum .

Jacko-"She'll be right mate . I'll clean up this mess ."

Sketer-"Right and then you can start on the truck . The rest of you can get back to work . Smokos over ."

Shifty walks away with Sketer . Jacko and Slick begin to clear up the mess . Dags puts away the chairs.

Dags- Don't Sketer and Shifty look a pretty couple ?

Jacko-" Hey Dags , have you been told ?

Dags -" Go and get a job mate.

Slick-" You know he can't Dags . This is the only place will have him ."

Jacko-" Get a life . At least I can read maps . You can't even spell your own name never mind read my lips Slick . Can you see what am I trying to say ?"

Slick-"I am not as stupid as you think ."

Dags-"Yea that's right Jacko , he's stupider.

Slick-"How would you like a week on compo Dags?

Dags- How would you like to wake up with a crowd around you Slick ."

Jacko '" Ok the wars over ' Lets get back to work ."

Slick-"Did you see the look on Rustys face when he was caught red handed ."

Jacko-"I've never seen anything happen so fast . First Rusty and then China ."

Dags- Here one minute and gone the next ."

Slick- "I suppose we better get this mess cleared up before Sketer comes back to check up on us ."

They all throw things into the drum . One by one they slam down each item .
China returns to the set with a large metal picture frame under his arm .

China '" What do you know Jacko ?

Jacko '"What are you doing back here ?

China -" I've come for my picture frame . If I'm losing my job over it I feel I deserve to have it . Don't you ?

Everybody laughs .

Slick-"It won't be the same without you China ."

Jacko-" What are your plans China ?

China-" Don't know mate . What do you know Jacko ?

Jacko -"Hey I'll tell you what China , I'm getting behind time maybe you can you give me a hand to wash the truck and get it loaded ."

China-" Hooray I'm off "
China walks off and Shifty returns with a broom in his hand . He starts to sweep up the floor .

Dags-"After a promotion are we Shifty ?"

Shifty- No worries Dags . Is there any chance I can take your job ?

Dags-"I'll see what I can do ."

Shifty-Sketers in big trouble . Rusty has made a written report to work cover about unfair dismissal and work place harassment ."

Slick- "You're kidding .,"
Sketer .'" No mate fair dinkum . There's a fella from work cover in the front office having it out with Sketer ."

Dags-'What fella ?

Shifty-" Only Rustys brother if you please who just happens to be an officer . in the work cover section ."

Dags-Hows it going?

Shifty-"No so good for Sketer . By the look of it , there could be a fine to pay and all the sacked workers have to be offered back their jobs " .

Jacko -"See you lads . I've got a truck to load .

Slick -" Rusty never told us he had connections in work cover ."

Shifty -" See you mate . I've got a stock take to do "

Shifty leaves the broom to one side and Slick takes a chair and sits down as Shifty and Jacko make their exit . Sketer returns on stage and sees Slick sitting down on the job .

Sketer-"Didn't you hear the hooter mate ? Smoko is over . Get back to work.

Slick-"Sorry Sketer . I didn't know .

Slick makes his exit from the stage . Sketer stands there alone for a moment before going over to pick up the broom . He starts to sweep up the mess

Sketer-"Some people think they can do what ever the hell they like at my expense around here .You'd think I was an unfair boss or something ."

Sketer sits down on the chair

The End

By Paul McCann