Just A City Sunday

Just a city Sunday by Neil McCall

Just a city Sunday, don't you know;
love it or you loathe it,
you'll never let it go.

The fuzzy-wuzzy lezzie
in the cozzie of a rozzer
sez she wants a whizzy pressie
or she might not let me go
cos she seen my misdemeanours
on the cleaner's mount of Venus
who, between us, is as keen as
that Christina's dirrty ho.

The scally in the alley
plays viola with the Halle
and gets pally in a chalet
with a chef in calico
whilst the vinos in cheap chinos
with the eyes of Valentino
dream of Virgin Pendolinos
to the heart beat of Soho.

Auntie Millie's being silly
showing something pink and frilly
on the streets of Piccadilly
whilst the trams just come and go
there's hip-hop at the bus stop
and a bust-up at the pound shop
we'll be found around the cop shop
give or take an hour or so.

Poets read McGough and Duffy
in the all-day Chinese buffet
handcuffed (but they're fluffy)
to a bent bulimic beau;
the Tesco Metro's shaken
as Jamaicans steal the bacon,
no prisoners are taken
but the muzak's soft and low.

Junkies sharing needles wheedle
pensioners from Cheadle
saying charitable deeds'll
surely follow when they go;
out-of-tune bassoon
plays "Blue Moon as lovers croon
you can earn a small fortune
if you stick to what they know.

Alcoholic heroes
sober up in Café Nero,
with their credit down to zero
they're the lowest of the low;
Trafford Tories tell their tale
to nice kids in Sale and Hale
it prevails when once you fail
and you spoil the family show.

Misty morning clubbers
merge with rubber fetish lovers,
teenage mothers flash their blubber
as they shop for babygros;
Chocolate-coated Catholic
claims a clit-lick in her attic
from a fit chick-lit fanatic
wearing crotchless pantyhose.

Reggae rappers rhyming,
pie-and-fries fed pigeons sliming,
pasty-faced pierrot miming
like a Manc Marcel Marceau;
Bleak asylum-seekers
peek at chavs in tartan sneakers,
you don't disclose your weakness
when you've nowhere else to go.

Just a city Sunday, don't you know,
love it or you loathe it
you'll never let it go.