Mrs Murphy Where Are You ?

After her husband died Mrs Murphy lived alone in her little tow bedroom house in the suburbs . She never went out and had little contact with the Local community . Now at 65 she seemed to be coping quite well with life .
Her neighbours were quiet but nice people . She has a daughter called Kate who regularly visited every Tuesday morning for a cup of tea once she has dropped her children to school . On Thursday afternoons Mrs Murphy and her daughter Kate go shopping . There was always time for a brief talk before Kate went to pick up her kids from school .
Now and then Kate though it amusing when her Mum would hide the cars keys and pretend she didn't know where they were . Mrs Murphy always hid them in the same spot in the tea pot .
Kate often laughed at her Mum who sometimes forgot things like the names of the flowers she had planted the week before or the things they had done during the day .
Kate brushed it innocently away as a harmless slip of the mind .
More and more Mrs Murphy continued to forget things . Kate was now noticing other strange things going on . There was food items left in the fridge that were out of date . Her mailbox was sometimes cluttered .
One evening Mrs Murphy had even alerted the police and told them she had a stranger in her house . When the police arrived there was no one there .
After that episode Kate decided to speak with their local family Doctor .
Immediately the doctor heard he informed Kate about a syndrome known as Dementia . Kate was shocked at first and refused to believe that her Mum was suffering form this kind of disease . She stormed out of the doctors surgery and drove straight to her Mums . It was almost dusk when she arrived there and was even more shocked to find her Mum wasn't home .
It was not like her Mum to go out at all during the day never mind at twilight .
She rang the police and a search began .
Kate waited anxiously by the phone for some news of her Mum .
The night has passed and morning came with no word about Mrs Murphy .
The local news got hold of the story and soon it was all over town . There were people everywhere out looking for Mrs Murphy .
Finally word came .
Mrs Murphy was found curled up inside a chicken roost .
The farmer who found her was very relieved to have found her alive and well because he was just about to leave on a weeks holiday and if he had gone Mrs Murphy may have never been discivered for at least a week . His farmyard had many areas that had self catering feeding trays . It was only because the farmer noticed a gate was left unlocked that he went into check the chicken house .

Kate was now willing to listen to what the doctor had to say about Dementia He tried to explain about the various symptoms Dementia had . When Kate was told about the delusions ,hallucinations and things like sundowning and short term memory loss Kate could see a connection and realised that her Mum needed help from specialists .
The doctor informed Kate that there were ways of dealing with her Mums problem .

Kate hired some home help and her husband took time off work to look after the kids while Kate spent time with her Mum .
Kate made up a little story about her wanting to redecorate the house for her to avoid any suspicion her Mum might have .
Kate made notes about her Mums behaviour .
Each night at dusk she observed her Mum become agitated and worried .
She looked slightly disorientated and uncomfortable . Sometimes she would open the window and call out things like look for Mum or come home .
Sometimes Mrs Murphy would switch the lights on and off . Not knowing what to do Kate contacted the doctor again .

The doctor read the notes Kate had made and decided it was time to contact the community health team and local mental health groups .
Kate was glad and relieved to hear that there were ways of dealing with her Mums problem .
After an assessment from the psychologist and other members of the health team it was proposed that Mrs Murphy could benefit from one of the aged care packages that would assist her with moving into full time care at a residential aged care facility that dealt specifically with dementia sufferers.
Kate agreed and spoke to her Mum about the situation.
Mrs Murphy seemed withdrawn and unwilling to talk but Kate had to go through with the recommendation . It was the best thing for her .
The day Kate brought her Mum to the nursing home she was shot to pieces with guilt and worry . The nursing staff were very helpful because they understood that it wasn't easy for her .
The nursing home made a special provision for Kate to move in for a few weeks in the home until her Mum had settled .
The transition was made and the first week in the aged care facility was just about as bad as it gets . Mrs. Murphy threw things all over the place . She argued with other residents and tried to run away . Mrs. Murphy was constantly very upset . She tested all the staff and Kate every day.
Kate was tired and stuck in the middle of a terrible triangle between her Mum and her own family who she hadn't seen for months .

The nursing staff decided it had gone long enough and they put together a new daily living plan to assist Mrs Murphy with where she was in her life .
On the agreement of Kate and her family and friends the doctors suggested medication . After some discussion it was accepted and after experimenting with dosage and timing of this medication it proved to be an invaluable process in addressing some of Mrs Murphys symptoms of Dementia .
In her current situation without inhibition or interruption Mrs Murphy was introduced to music therapy and some massage . Her lifestyle changes made it possible for Kate to hand it all over to the nursing staff .
It was also decided that walks outdoors in a controlled environment would be a regular event during the day . This seemed to reduce some of Mrs Murphys wanderlust in the late afternoon .

The maintenance men increased the lighting around the areas where Mrs Murphy wandered at dusk . Mainly in and around the corridor to the dining room is where Mrs Murphy would be found . Now and then she was found hiding in the pantry looking for a way to get out . Certain areas needed to be kept locked at all times to protect her .
Kate still made weekly visits and as time went on they became monthly visits and before long Kate made her last visit to see her Mum .

Mrs Murphy died and was buried in a small cemetery near to the facility where she had spend the last remaining years of her life .
The nursing staff all came to the funeral and some of them assisted in carrying the coffin . They all got to know and love Mrs Murphy .

Kate thanked everyone of them for caring and for loving her Mum in a way that she couldn't do herself .
Mrs. Murphy grave is visited very often and there are always fresh flowers left beside a small message that was engraved on the headstone .
The sun has gone down for the last time -thank God I am at home now .

The End

By Paul McCann