The Chlamydia Ninja

There is a new force in youth work
A dark knight in schools
Doing the bidding of a not very secret government department
Because there is a silent enemy, which may not show its face for many years
And it is rumoured – boys – can make your bits drop off
The Chlamydia ninja wants to know which 1 in 10 of you is infected
He passes silently into the youth club, around the pool table, pausing briefly to lift marker pens out of people’s pockets because he doesn’t approve of graffiti, even if it is art.
He spots his target, the boy with his arm around one girl, whilst another gives him daggers and looks hurt
One of the player dynasty.
The ninja draws out a sample bottle, silently from its sheath, as the target moves towards the gents
He never saw him coming as the bottle slipped between his legs, for the first bit out is the most important, and the ninja is out of the window quick as a flash, leaving the lad wondering where that draft is coming from.
Back in his batman like ninja lab, testing is underway, and this one is lucky. The ninja silently curses the fact he got on his knees in a council youth club toilet for nothing.
His next target is harder, a girl. He carefully selects a swab from his rack, testing it’s springiness and practicing the action – up swirl to the side, swirl to the side.
Darkness falls, and he finds his quarry in a park. With a bottle of cider. With vodka in it. No large hooped ear rings or trousers in socks here though – a girl whose parents think she is nice. So do all the boys in her class.
As she tips up the bottle to get the dregs of her slightly appley vodka out, he pounces, and unleashes his swab – up, swirl to the side, swirl to the side.
This time the text will ask her to make an appointment for her results, then four pills will fly like throwing stars into her mouth.
And the chlamydia ninja will continue his quest for the silent, but nasty bug. So watch out for the draft between your legs the next time you are in a youth club toilet.