Windowlicker

Kevin began to shake, as his vision unravelled parting like a scroll.
All he could hear was drip, drip, drip - glug, glug, snort, and sniffle. Then he panicked, he felt as if his face had been pushed hard against a pain of frosted glass. On the other side of the partition he could see other distorted faces – windowlickers just like him, groaning and grunting their faces distorting against the hard, cold glass.

“Hello Kevin – welcome to the orgasmic fishtank…..” - a voice came from above.
Then the glass shattered as he moved into the sonic rainbow of synesthesia.

As things settled, he found himself on a beach, made up of wondrous sand dunes of cobalt blue.

A man or something resembling one was wearing a dark 1970s cut suit with chequered shirt and bow tie. Something in his manner reminded Kev of an Oxford don he had once known, but disturbingly this creature had digestive biscuits in place of his eyes. Where his mouth should have been there was something that you could only describe as resembling a porpoise’s beak.

The thing strolled over to him, but surprisingly he found himself not in the least scared.
“Behold!” said the man with a cheesy dolphin smile, “All this, my dear boy is yours – the world your subconscious creates, a world of dreams imagination and wonder! However, for most of your kind I suppose it is, somewhere you’ve been conspicuously unaware of, until now.”

With awe Kevin, looked on – he saw possessed monkeys, drinking bottles of Panda Pop cherryade as they danced over the sands to beat of drumming. Picnicking near the magenta sea, were families of similar beak faced creatures, all wearing distinctive 1970s style clothes. Behind the dunes and towards the cliff, there was something more sinister. A huge serpent filled pit was just visible. Around it what looked like a makeshift court had been assembled.

In his hand Kevin realised he was holding a teacup and small silver spoon. “Ho ho!” said Dolphin face. “That is an instrument of immense importance…..You see if you wish to stay for another hour in this place, the orgasmic fishtank, as its inhabitants like to call it. You must turn the teaspoon three times anticlockwise. If you want to return to your mortal world then it is four times clockwise…..Remember this well. But there is a catch - of course on a Wednesday, the reverse applies. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday anticlockwise, but on Wednesday, always clockwise.”

Now Kevin felt overwhelmed with ecstasy. He saw a man, so radiant and bright surrounded by a ring of fire over on the cliffs to his left. He beckoned him over and Kevin was immediately transported to the centre of the ring. He tried to speak but it just sounded like some kind of amplified sonar.

The robed figure at its centre seemed familiar. He looked like he played a part in the Bible stories Kevin had heard when he was a child, all beard and sandals, dressed in white. But this was no Jesus meek and mild, it was some wild but benevolent cosmic hippy from an age yet to come. He reached over and took Kev’s hand and as they touched an electric shock of joy rippled through his bones. Such stupefaction and incredulity he had never known – such wonderment and joy.

They flew together hand in hand over the sands and the ocean - time melting and worldly meanings falling apart in his mind. But with no warning, the warmth and beatitude gave way and he found himself with his face crushed up against the glass once again. For seconds he was enmeshed in agony, as if being torn from the womb for a second time. Then screaming a scream from the depth of his being he crashed back into reality. He was back in Brad’s flat.