31 Falkner Street (13)

‘Why are you so late, you bastard prick!’ Jo screamed at me from her special reclining seat as I walked into her house. ‘You told me that you’d be finished at 8, it only takes half an hour for you to get home!’

‘Sorry, it all kicked off it work and I had to stay on. Oh my god, what an awful day I’ve had.’ I flopped onto the floor as all the chair space was taken, dead weight.

‘You said 8 o clock and now your can is cold. Serves you right for being such a faggot.’ Jo threw a can of Fosters towards my head. Eugh, it was warm as well. She may be a horrible, bossy thing but at least she isn’t a liar, I thought. Then I thought some more. About her stories of fighting off sharks and winning in the Goa sea, her thousands and thousands of pounds worth of savings scattered in various places despite bleeding me dry most weeks after waiting til I’d drank enough. I wouldn’t ever forget Jo’s tales of prison, of the bent screws who were all at her beck and call because she was the cock of the prison walk, that they would give her a list of all the paedophiles who were on her wing so she could kick them in, how she had the figure of a body builder and a bursting six pack after using the prison gym every day. I had to cover my mouth the time she told me that one, brazenly bragging whilst a picture of her and Mary hung directly above her head, Jo grinning from the picture, as huge and jowly as ever. But she’d also said another time that she had a heart attack in prison which lasted 3 days and 3 nights, but the prison officers hadn’t let her go to hospital. But she survived it, obviously.

She talked about it or illnesses she had overcome of a similar scale every time Les had a whopper of an asthma attack and we had to run and get his nebuliser. Maybe it was because he was too busy nearly dying to speak and therefore insult her and call her a ‘bloody stupid basketcase’.

‘Lucy!’ Ella beamed ear to ear at me. I just couldn’t get used to that baldy head. ‘Kath has something to show you! Show her Kathbean!’ Kathbean?
‘Don’t call me Kathbean. It’s not cute, it’s stupid.’ Kath snapped at Ella and her eyes glinted at her. Ella didn’t waver, and carried on smiling.
Kath turned back to me, and a smile broke out on her face. I realised that I had never seen her smile before. How strange, especially when she had a drink most nights. You would have thought that I would remember seeing her smile before. But usually she just sat there, almost mute. Or sometimes press me with questions, about whether she had offended me the previous night, or if we all minded her and Ella being there. I didn’t get it. Now she pointed to her ear lobes, in which nestled some sparkly studs.
‘They’re gorgeous aren’t they? Ella bought them for me secretly!’ Kath’s smile spread even further up her face. Ella was still beaming a toothy smile. Jo looked nervous. She was looking at me. She put her finger to her lips.

I looked closer at the earrings stuck through Kath’s ear flesh.
‘They are lovely, Kath. Ella, that was so romantic of you!’ I furtively shot Jo a look of shock. They were my earrings. Mine. I’d given them to Jo weeks ago for her to sell on for me. I had briefly forgotten about them, waiting for her to get back to me with her super duper sold price. So what was going on here? She’d given them away for nothing? Given away something that wasn’t even hers to give away. Easy to be generous Jo when it was someone elses gear she was flouting.

Ella winked at Jo, and Jo smiled back, Ella’s new hero.
‘I’m so happy that I could give my little Kathbean a present finally. I love you so much Kath.’ Her eyes filled up and she looked so proud of herself. How could I say anything now. So I didn’t. Let Kath keep her new earrings.

A thought suddenly struck me as I watched Kath sneak a look at Jo reminiscent of the hero-worshipping gaze Ella had graced Jo with 30 seconds earlier. Had Jo told Kath that she had bought the earrings for her? Everyone knew that Ella didn’t get any money, even job seekers. How would she have paid for them? Kath wasn’t stupid. Well, not that stupid. She had that loved up, in a bubble look which I doubted Ella could have given her no matter what she had done for her.