I want to be a Viking

I want to be a Viking
I have done all my life
I’ll murder rape and pillage
But please don’t tell my wife

I’ll spit upon your driveway
And pull up all your flowers
I’ll creep up on your pussy
And pull its tail for hours

And then I’ll bash your door down
Or maybe ring your bell
I’ll shout “boo!” when you answer
And run away like hell

I want to be a Viking
I have done all my life
I’ll murder rape and pillage
But please don’t tell my wife