Wonder Witch 3 (IP) JULIA’s 30th

“Gee! Aunt Marge”, said Julia, raising an exotic looking cocktail to her lips , “It’s really neato, you taking me out to a sophisticated nightspot like this on my 30th birthday. Usually, all I get is cake and candles. Mom and Dad still treat me like I was twelve or something”.

“We’re not here to have fun Julia or to drink cocktails”, said Marjorie, snatching the cocktail glass out of Julia’s hand, “We’re here to solve a mystery and we’ll need to keep a clear head to do that. Apparently lots of young men and women about your age have gone missing in this area. All were last sighted in this club but, so far, the police haven’t been able to prove foul play of any kind or find one shred of evidence linking the disappearances with this club”.

But Julia, deprived of her cocktail, just looked bored which, in a way, made her blend in perfectly with the clubs usual crowd.

Round about them everyone had a peculiar weary expression. The men and women dancing to a concertina tango behind them, though beautiful and elegant and glamorous not to mention incredible dancers, looked utterly bored with life and, over by the bar, a woman with a short
black bob and a long, sleek, glamorous evening gown who looked like she could be a fashion model, leaned languidly on her barstool, puffing upon a long cigarette holder and her heavily black eye-shadowed eyes were filled with that same deep boredom.

Then Julia started to giggle as she spotted the bar tender whom she noted was wearing a large and obvious toupee on his head.

“Would you look at that hairpiece”, said Julia.

“It’s our cover that I’m worried about blowing”, said Marjorie,annoyed, “Just keep a look out for clues”.

Outside the sun was setting over the docks and Marjorie thought how pretty the sky looked, turning from blue to gold to cherry pink to crimson red.

But then, just as the sky was beginning to turn a dark shade of blue they both heard a loud, horrified scream from the direction of the dance floor and, looking over, they saw a woman in the clutches of a frilly shirted tango dancer but the dancer no longer looked beautiful or elegant but monstrous and frightening, with bright red, glowing eyes and long, sharp teeth.

“Vampyres”, cried the woman, her face twisted with terror, “They’re all Vampyres!”.

“So that’s it”, said Marjorie, snapping her fingers, “Those young people went missing because they were bitten by and probably turned into Vampyres”.

Suddenly, however, the bartender with the large, unconvincing toupee on his head came over to their table with a grinning mouth full of sharp, vampire teeth.

“You ladies haven’t paid for your drinks yet”, he said, cackling hoarsely, “And there’ll be hell toupee”.

Then the bartender lifted up that large conspicuous hairpiece and they saw that, underneath, he had two small, devil like horns growing from the top of his head.

Most women or men in that situation might have screamed and run for the exit but, to the demon bartender's surprise, the two woman before him also began to transform; Marjorie suddenly becoming that famous, costumed, crime-fighting, super-sorceress Wonder Witch whilst her niece
Julia, at the touch of a special green, jewelled pendant which she wore around her neck, became
her equally powerful and emerald costumed “super-apprentice” Jewel.

“Those silly Halloween costumes aren’t going to save you”, said the vampire bartender, throwing his horned head back and laughing as ragged, leathery wings started to sprout from his hairy back, unfolding and spreading on either side of him and his ears started to become long and pointed while his nose became flat like the pug nose of a bat.

But the Vampyre bartender had not reckoned upon Jewels uncanny ability to change herself at will into any object she desired, “You Vampires aren’t the only ones who can turn into bats, you know”,
she chuckled, turning herself into a large, glowing green baseball bat that then whacked the vampire bartender so hard on the jaw that all his pointy vampire teeth fell out.

Then Wonder Witch, psychically tuned in her special, miniature two-way crystal ball communicator and the face of a startled, police commissioner appeared within it.

“Wonder Witch”, said the police commissioner, “What in the name of naughts and crosses do you want at this time in the evening?”.

“A S.W.A.T. team”, said Wonder Witch, “And tell them to bring silver bullets or wooden stakes and holy water if those don’t work. All hell has broken loose at the Fangtango club”.

Suddenly, however, that tall, elegant, supermodel type who had been leaning against the bar started
lumbering, slowly, towards them; her eyes now large and spherical like an insects while her mouth, that had earlier held a long cigarette holder, was now, itself, long and needle like, like the mouth of a giant mosquito.

“Jeepers! I’m sure glad that you called for a S.W.A.T. team, Aunt Marge”, said Jewel, gasping in terror, “Because you’d need a team to swat a bug that size”.

“Don’t worry”, said Wonder Witch, searching the special, magical potion utility belt that she always wore around her waist, “I’m sure I’ve got some magical Mosquito repellent somewhere”.

But there was no time to wait for her Aunt Marjorie to save them and so Jewel, using the power of her magical green pendant once more, transformed herself into a large, glowing, green fencing sword, “Thank goodness, you insisted on making me watch all those old Errol Flynn movies, Auntie Marge”, said Jewel, matching her rapier blade against the long thin proboscis of the mosquito headed woman before cutting that long, thin vampire snout down to size and thrusting her blade deep into the vampire vamps rotten, black, bloodsucking heart.

“Musketeer 1 – Mosquito nil”, said Jewel, turning back into her regular human form.

But then they both heard the sound of wailing, police sirens and saw red and blue flashing lights
through the windows of the dimly lit club and, the next thing they knew, an anti-vampire police taskforce in black suits and balaclavas was storming the building.

“We’ll take over from here, ladies”, said the commander of the taskforce, gallantly saluting
Wonder Witch and her niece.

“Thankyou, commander”, said Wonder Witch, making a salute against the wide brim of her pink, pointy witch’s hat.

But then, suddenly, Wonder Witch heard a low, growling sound coming from close by her and, looking back towards her niece, saw that Julia had turned into a vampire with red glowing eyes and sharp, pointed teeth; even Julia’s pendant that normally glowed with an emerald light had become pitch black.

“Jinkies! One of those Vampires must have bitten poor Julia”, said Wonder Witch, reaching into her
magical utility belt, “Fortunately, although I couldn’t find my magic mosquito repellent, I do know where my vampire anti-venom formula is”.

And, pulling a small glass vial of red liquid from out of her utility belt that had a special hypodermic needle fitted to the end, she stabbed Julia in the arm with it and, suddenly, saw the bright, red glow in Julia’s eyes begin to fade and her teeth shrink back to normal human size.

“Thank goodness”, said Wonder Witch once her niece had stopped growling, “Are you okay now, Julia?”.

Julia smiled, raising her cocktail glass to her lips and knocking back its contents, “Wow! Aunt Marge”, she said, giggling happily, “You made my 30th birthday the best birthday ever”.