the chemical blade intercedes

By sonora

Thu, 08 Sep 2011
  • 662 reads
1 comments
 

the light has gone out my dark eyed girl as i grip your hand grip your hand the chemical blade intercedes mirrors reflect only misery shattered through the golden dawn we ran down naked the chemical blade intercedes drowning in the love that filled us and the pain and the pain and the pain and the pain the chemical blade intercedes language is lost as tomorrow scrapes the inside of my skull you stand on another planet spinning and the chemical blade intercedes

Certificate 12
Poem
Stuff & Things
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by MaggieG on
This interest me ... Your cadence here in my opinion is quite lovely, and what you are saying is intriguing as hell. I am inclined to think though that you need to flesh it out more. The "form" is a bit distracting, but honestly I am not sure if breaking it up would be to any benefit. You certainly have a gem here. It just seems to me to need more polishing, that's all :)