CHOICE OF FAITH

I really am lost in the wilderness of frustration and so angry for the waste of two lives. You and I bring such tenderness and joy to each other, complimented by reality beyond measure.

My tears flow freely for what could have been and should be, if only you would allow the self imposed barriers that imprison any future life or happiness possible for yourself, to dissipate. Oh ye of little faith...

What is faith? It is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thought. How can this be so? Our minds can take us anywhere. Thinking can create many situations, which can lead us into a convincing deep experience but cannot conjure true faith. Profound faith only ever comes from the heart and the heart can only be heard when the head is silent.

My heart has overridden all thoughts, these past weeks. I have returned from my South African adventure so self assured and consumed with faith of future, wanting to journey with a man who has allowed me to explore unchartered territory, has created a wealth of possibilities within myself, that I so want to share with him every step of the way...so near..yet so far.

Will you ever let go of the constraints of your past and allow yourself to be truly loved? A chance in a lifetime walks your way. Are you brave enough to walk with me, or do you stick with self doubt and meander away to solitude. Then, often, in your reflective moments, wonder what might have been??

The choice is yours and yours alone. I made my choice "Of Faith" many weeks ago, with the confidence of heart, not the strength of self induced mind. I do not wish to suffer this poignant anguish any longer. If I have to let you go, so be it. The saddest part of all this, is, I know you have great depth of feeling for me and I will always feel so cheated of the certainty I hold so true in my eyes, yet blinded in the face of self doubt, still lurking surreptitiously in yours.

Tread Softly...for your footprints leave their image upon my dreams.