The 'A' Platoon Lament

The “A” Platoon lament

It happened on the 1st of June
This tale I have to tell
Of dirty, greasy drivers
On the battlefield of hell.

The battlefield was covered
With piles of tins and cans
Of grease, and pressure plastic
And India rubber bands.

All eyes were on the waggons:
The silence was intense:
Saunders lit a cigarette
Wille Moos pissed on the fence.

The lads all bunched to - gether
Not a one remained aloof,
As Mr Jacques uttered the fateful words
‘ADVANCE – and waterproof’.

The air was rent with ghastly shrieks
Of pain, and howls of fear
Harry Ruddlesdin cracked his whip
And Vaughan came over queer.

The charge was led by Johnnie Price
A man both big and burly,
Billy Finch lost all his teeth
And Whebell’s hair went curly.

Steve Hall was white and shaking
His back was cold with fear
On his face – a look of horror
In his hand – a bottle of beer.

Tear arse Thompson rushed ahead,
With a pile of GS. Grease,
It looked as though the battle
Was never due to cease.

Then suddenly came a deathly hush,
And the Major was heard demanding,
That the platoon be ready to move at once
To Cherbourg to make a DRY LANDING

“CLANG”