After Years 2

I was also suicidal. I think that this was the first time in my life I seriously considered suicide. I really did not want to live.

Throughout my young life, I was ashamed of being Korean or of being Asian. I was ashamed of the color of my skin also, brown. When I looked at Caucasians, their life looked so much better, so much more desirable. I considered Koreans to be uglier, weaker, and in every way, to be inferior to whites. I wanted to be white. I didn't want to be yellow. I wanted my face and my eyes to look white.

At the private school I was at, all of my friends had been white. I had, for the most part, avoided the other Asians at school. I had acculturated into the white culture by being funny and by being smart...