Lord Byron

How i wish i were Lord Byron
cynical, dashing, and romantic
writing poems from heart to art
waking souls, waking turbulent emotions.

how i wish i could swim the Hellespont
have one leg shorter than the other
and indulge in sexual, orgiastic excess
til I go blank, mad or bare.

how i wish i could tell the whole world
to fuck off
live my life in grand drama
create a cult of my personality
seance spirits, silence souls
with dare, dare, Dare.

what a life of freedom
what a life of defiance, all customs
all traditions deconstructed,
rendered temporal at best
and meaningless at least.

i want to shock, i want to unearth
deep, repressed emotions
buried from birth.
nothing is as dull as life
when people become Things
and poetry Rings.

but then i think upon myself
short, yellow, and lazy too
and i think
it's not so bad being me...
self-undulgence can lead to cruelty
freedom can create a tyrannical spirit
the emptying of eros
leads to the filling of thanatos
and pleasure is stalled
you go onto more extreme measures...
S&M, bondage, etc...
and you can no longer feel
only ritual no Romance,
only intellectual lust, no great need
urgent Steed
to speed you home to Self-Fulfillment.

Oh fuck it all fuck it all
the pursuit of Pleasure
leads to Mathematical Measure
oh fuck it all fuck it all
repetition compulsion
a lazy leisure.