a poem is

Cherry

By a.lesser.thing

Fri, 05 Apr 2013
  • 1332 reads
10 comments
 

a poem starts
as an itching of
my finger tips. i feel
the suction, an aching hole,
in my palm. i reach out for paper,
or my keyboard, or press in on my
brain and say: "not now."

(it tends not to listen,
but does it ever? i don't
want to be sad, stop being
obnoxious, just act casual,
it's a nice day, be happy,
you've got to shut up
just for a little bit.
please, just for a
little bit.)

a poem
is inescapable.
a poem is an examiner
into emotions too complex.
i say: i'm sad, nothing happens.

a poem says: i'm bitter,
there's a holdup at the grocery store.
the love of my life held a handgun to my head
and i begged him to shoot. his fingernail broke as
he hammered the last nail into our bookshelf. civilization
feels like the dryness that rests in the back
of my throat. my life is like a castle, but
i drowned in the moat.

it explains
much more than you'd think.

a poem
gives you
a strong drink.

(we're drunk,
not even off alcohol,
but off our confusion.
it's sadder than you'd think.)

Certificate 12
Poem
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by The Walrus on
Very good, a.l.t. - this line is incredible - 'my life is like a castle, but i drowned in the moat.' And I love your description of the creative process.

Submitted by littleditty on
aced it - ditto The Walrus. Complex tumble, imagetic lines to ponder, great starting image, there's a trigger, 'confusion', a poem, poet, and readers as 'examiner' - I hope for various triggers, and the desire, will and time to write it, a poem starts as an itching of my finger tips. well expressed.

 

Submitted by adbates on
I agree with walrus, I LOVE that line. This is the kind of poem that makes me want to save it so I can overanalyze every single line of it later. You definitely deserved those cherries.

 

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
Thank you all so much! Adbates, you've no idea how much that means to me, because it's exactly how I feel about a number of poems. To know that someone feels the same thing for my writing amazes me, and makes me feel incredibly proud. The creative process makes me think. I've wrote about it before (in enslaved) and I have it on my mind quite often. I've been considering it greatly in the past few days, because sometimes I don't feel like I even am a writer. I write greatly on my emotion or a small thought that passes by--as a result, my brain sort of runs with it. It isn't really a conscious thought, but a string of things that collide together in my subconscious. You can definitely tell when I'm conscious in my writing, because it's more controlled (especially when i talk of my dysphoria, family, etc), but I like to let go because I create stronger emotions/pictures this way--or at least it seems so to me. All my ramble aside, thank you guys so much for reading and leaving feedback. When I see comments like these, I make it a priority to write daily, whereas when I keep my writing to myself, I get quickly discouraged. I couldn't do this without you. (Also, thanks to the cherrypicker! I'm honestly so pleasantly surprised whenever I see that I've got a cherry. It truly makes a day.)

 

Submitted by KPHVampireWriter on
This is like delving inside and pulling out all those compulsions for examination! Loved the poem's bitterness spilling out... Great lines, really loved, he hammered the last nail into our bookshelf. civilization feels like the dryness that rests in the back of my throat. my life is like a castle, but i drowned in the moat. Well deserving of the cherries.

Submitted by The Walrus on
That's what it's all about, a.l.t, reading each other's work, sharing and commenting - hopefully encouragingly.

Submitted by scratch on
I couldn't agree more with the last comment. Take the plunge ALT and leave some critique/comment on someone else's stuff. In doing so I guarantee that your own skills will grow.

 

Submitted by The Walrus on
That's so true, Scratch. There are many pieces I read on here from the minds of others, and I often think 'Wow, that's incredible - how can I use it to improve my own stuff?' Stephen King said read, read and read some more, and it's excellent advice. You have great talent, a.l.t., and it's your responsibility to hone that talent until it can split the hairs on a gnat's bum.

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
I was thinking about this the other day - I like to read pieces, but barely ever interact with authors because, as I've said in many previous situations, I'm scared to speak up. I'm trying to get better, however, and I can gladly say I just posted my first comment to another poem. :) Also, Walrus, I totally agree - I owe a lot to other writers I've read and thought about what I could do to transform my style. It's a giant collaboration with writing, in my own opinion. You can't expect to be a writer without also being a reader. Oops, also, thank you so much, KPH! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on
How the hell have I missed this. So clever, you've nailed the whole stream of thought before writing something in a few lines.That itching! Just lovely.