Garbage blues

By Itane Vero

Mon, 10 Jun 2013
  • 601 reads
2 comments
 

A feature
of the truth is
that she is strange
and rather
inappropriate
to preserve.

People have
the inclination
to throw her away.

He who
seeks the truth
should not
be surprised
at one day
finding himself

grabbing
in a litter bin,
finding her.

Certificate 12
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by TheGameCat on
Like it's simplicity wich means the the two metaphores intertwine with a coherency. It feels a little unbalanced though with a stanza structure of 5:3-6:2 lines. I think if you worked it a structure of 6:3-6:3 it would not only balance but you'd have extra line space to draw the metaphores together - posisble with the result of HE finding HER which might resolve the whole piece, admittedly in a much more positive way than you've written - which may not be what you want... Ant, The GameCat, Smith www.antsmith.net

Ant, The GameCat, Smith
www.antsmith.net

Submitted by Itane Vero on
Hi Ant, Thanks for your comments! It will try what you're proposing. Most of the times I also like the balancing act in a poem... Regards, Itane