Ugly Steve and His Gang 2

we're drivin small and mad and bad dressed to the tip of fashion and fakin british accents, not very good ironywise than other, BMW hums like nice guitar, newfangled nouveau riche, Harry and Sal are banging up the music numbers from 80's and jingling along. we stop by a gas station and pick up some candy, coke, and slim jims. we love the highways and byways of New Hampshire, time gonging bonkers and nothin stopping us now. jared's where is jareds. there's one near the Mall of New Hampshire. We get out.

"It's rather a dreary day."

"Yes, the rain in Spain is mainly on the plain."

Harry and Sal are newly married lesbos. They're very nice if you're nice to them, but they really don't take to any funny stuff.

"Yes, how do you do?"

"How do you do?"

"Can I help you?"

"No." They walk along and I am pretending to be their bartender. NO not bartender. Butler.

"Miss Hanover, can I get you anything to drink?"

"A glass of Perrier, please."

I hate this fucking job! I always have to play this sideline character. I give her a bottle of Perrier with a smile.

"Thank You, UG LEE."

I'm fucking biting my tongue. I smile and smile and smile underneathe my tuxedo. The place is larger than the usual jewelry store. I love the look of diamonds. I want to swipe them all. I am a large house with lots of food to eat.

The jewelry store salesman is looking at me, wondering what's wrong with me which is NOTHING.

"We got him from the Phillippines. He drinks his own pee."

All right. That's it. I'm going to blow this whole operation up. I'm going to go all Tazmanian in this joint.

"May we see that diamond necklace?" They ask simultaneously.

It's a beautiful necklace. I want it so bad. It's so beautiful. It's not blue diamond but it's close enough. I want it. I want it.

"We'll take it." They take out the Black Card and charge it. $300,000.