Leggings: bad nites - cows & maggots

19/07

In the depths of night, when all light is extinguished, except perhaps for the night jar's globes voices come floating towards me.

A man and a woman unseen.

“Here you are!” she says ungraciously, and points to something with a crooked finger. Lycra Dopsia does wicked things to fingers, lack of fat.

“I don't want a cow!” he says indignantly, “I wanted her.....”

“You can't have her, and we're too old...” she says reprovingly, “Take your cow. Be done with it.”

He withdraws with a madly mooing cow. She retracing her footsteps to wheresoever she comes from.

“The deed is done. He took the cow.”

“Feed them for a month.” laughs a man.

“No,” she said sharply, “He won't kill it, he just likes cows.”

We are in Jack and the Beenstalk

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Minutes before 5am, voices wake me up. Loud sharp hard.

“Here you are.” he says boldly, “I got what you wanted.”

“Where?”

'Here,” he passes them over into greedy hands.

“If you're not the right person. God help you.”

She laughs, “You took the cow.”

“Ift comes to it, I've nothing to do with it.”

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22/07

The noise is put on intermittently during the night, by the time I wake around 7am, it's screeching and Ma Maggot with her two toothsome healthy youngsters is reading a first account replication of my tale.

As she reads out that she is Bessini from the camp, and in 1943 she wrote thet first three of the Terry P.........t novels which she insists are really written by Sir J. recently deceased. They giggle and snort, showing perfect molars and egg her on.

“At the end of this we get our ponies, don't we Nan?”

“We're a winner every time.” she essays back. Their mother hovers behind them. She's there to smooth every wrinkle so that the TV crew love the results. Granddad who lives in the loo, can't stand the suspense of the one time action. His wife wants to keep her house, and her lover real happy.

I'm sure the dates aren't exactly right. However I also wonder how she cant go out there and claim to be me, with all the damage I have sustained.

I'm sure she's depicted as Mrs Coulter in P'lip's charming trilogy of the 'Dark Matters'. I love his old world heavy style mixed with today’s more contemporary directness.

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