Lingering at the Edge

 

"Well? Come on! What do you think?"

"Uh ... probably around Channel Chasers."

"Seriously? I liked that one, and that season was generally good!"

"Eh, I just didn't care for it. It was a bunch of random hackneyed references, and Timmy learns the same lesson he learned about growing up back in Season 1. The show just got annoying from there."

"I thought it took longer to get annoying."

"When do you think it happened, Mister Expert?"

"Duh, when the baby came."

"You don't get it, that was the climax, the final result of all the things that made the show bad. Everything that made it suck was - was - magnified with that damn baby."

"... Maybe."

"Can we at least agree that The Fairly Oddparents should have died a long time ago?"

"Haha, yeah. Want the last apple?"

"Hey, pay attention! Do you want the last apple?"

"Yeah, thanks."

He pulled it out of the bag and handed it to the other fellow, who eyed it for a moment, then took a big bite. He chewed pensively as he turned to the cliff beside them. It was not a gaping canyon, but it was high enough that people generally don't get close to the edge.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"See that over there?"

He followed his outstretched finger and scanned the sky.

"I'm talking about the cliff itself."

"Oh! Yeah, course I see that."

"What if I just walked over there right now, stood on the edge, said, 'Follow me,' and stepped off?"

Sam just stared. "What?"

"I said, what if I just walked over to the cliff, told you to follow me, and walked right off? What would you think?"

"Um ... I dunno what to say, Travis, that's a weird question."

"C'mon. What would you do?"

"Whoa, that's a really different question from what would I think."

"Just say something."

"Say what?"

Travis said nothing but pointed to his cheek - he had taken another bite and needed to chew.

"Shoot, man, I dunno."

"What's the big deal? It's just a question."

"Is it?"

Travis bit again. He still circled the apple's exterior, making his way to the juicier core. Sam sipped from his water bottle.

"Why would you be walking off a cliff, anyway?"

"You wouldn't know. All you would know is that I said, 'Follow me,' and that I did."

Sam put down his bottle. "Alright, thinking realistically: I think the first thing I'd do is flip out."

"Really."

"I just saw my boyfriend fall into a ravine, what else would I do? Just sit there and say, 'Oh look, my boyfriend fell into a bloody ravine! Now I have to get the bag of chips myself!'"

"Hehe. Alright, then what?"

"Well -"

"Would you follow me?"

"Sam, before I would fall, I would say, 'Follow me.' Would you?"

"What, you mean, like, follow your dream or something?"

"Follow me off the cliff."

"Travis, what is this?"

"It's a simple question! Come on!"

"Nah, man, I'm not playing whatever game this is."

"Sam ..."

"Alright, you want an answer? I don't even really know what to picture, but I'll give you an answer: I wouldn't follow you. You know why? Because knowing me, I'd probably step off the cliff the wrong way or something and fall all the way down and break every bone in my body and you'd be standing there perfectly fine and unbroken saying, 'What did you do?' and I wouldn't know what to say because my jaws would be too busted and because I did it wrong without even knowing what I did wrong."

Travis blinked, then looked down at his apple.

"Not what I expected."

"And what were you expecting?"

He bit in, taking two bites at once.

"Stop doing that!"

"Whuh? Mmh jush eedin."

"What did you expect out of this question?"

Travis gulped. "What if I said, 'Follow me, it'll be alright.'"

"What!"

"Then what?"

"No, I'm done."

"Sam ..."

"No! Let's do something different!"

Travis stroked his chin, rubbing the individual hairs on his muzzle. "Yeah." He stepped out of their blanket and started walking away.

"Travis? Travis! Get away from there!"

"Follow me!"

"You step away from there right now!"

"Maybe you're right, Sam, maybe there's something I know that you don't know, that you don't even know I know! Maybe I've figured something out!"

"Travis!"

"For all you know, I'll step off and start walking on air. Oh well believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air!"

"Travis, stop!"

"What would you do, Sam?"

"If you don't come back here, I'll -"

"You'll what?"

"Come on, Sam! 'Follow me! It'll be alright!' What! Would!"

"Travis!"

"You! Do!"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?! BECAUSE I WILL! NOW COME BACK HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

A harsh wind blew. It couldn't be told whether it was blowing into or out of the ravine.

Travis slowly walked back and sat crisscross. He took the apple core in his fingers.

Sam held his water bottle without lifting it.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Please answer me ..."