This Ragged Saviour

By alphadog1

Mon, 03 Aug 2015
  • 746 reads
2 comments
 

 

This ragged saviour,
Born in a graveyard,
Slowly slouches on;
From pillars pellucid ,
In words exclusive 
Towards common song.
Here to be separated, There to be consecrated ;
Seeking those that belong.

Children were in awe,
of his mighty “law”,
For loves light shone;
From dove’s sweet flight. 
Lighter laughter grew, 
Among dawns drewń,
That sought the new sun shared in delight,
Separated segregated: one.

From child to men grew, 
The “segregated” few, 
The light of eyes shone;
Away from soft song.
Into darkness lines lies,
In questioning crime, 
The words walls of night,
Cutting away the plight: The wheat from the chaff. 
Paid for in “sweet” cash.

His bride rips the skin
Of her offering,
The fiery fruit she holds. 
But its crust is thick 
Torn by bit fingers
Blistered with stings. 
The flesh ripped away 
discarded today Is cleaved in sour sects,
Made of intellect.

Times such a bitter pill, 
Given in soft spills, 
Leading to pulling 
against terse telling
of intellect wells 
Against the sobbing 
The crashing, bashing hysterical thrashing, 
Of church brassy bells.

The price for her wedding 
Is up for “Sweet” selling 
Where the bidder is known 
By such clamorous calls 
It is –merely- the end of it all.
© adh 2015

Certificate 12
Poem
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Some very powerful images here.

Submitted by alphadog1 on

This  has been  the hardest  poem  I have constructed, for many reasons.  The  poem itself, is a refection from Dylan Thomas's  "There was a Saviour"  which is a reflection from Miltons " On the  morning of Christs natiivity". The reason for  the reflection came  from reading the analysis  of the text carried  out by Walford Davies, (who made a compelation of Thomas's text  and is available  from  orioinbooks.co.uk.) who includes a snip from a letter from Thomas to Pamela Johnson, which states "the churches are wrong because  they standardize our gods" I found this particularly powerful, as it is a reflection of my own experience  of churches  and church life, and also a reflection of my continuing re-apprasial  of who or what God is. 
regarding the poem. The text has been scribbled in my notebook removed reworked and amended. I battled through every single phrase and every pause, to make sure I  felt it read well.  However, leaving it, and coming back to  it  shows that the forgrounding is so heavy in places it looks as if I have bulldozed the text together; which is an unfair way to read it. 
The stanza style has been an attempt to use the same as Thomas, who used the same as Milton; and I have  to say, it was the lyriical  sound of the text that attracted me to the  idea  of writing a reflection based upon a similar sound lyrically.  My opinon is that the text, though full of strong images, seems  stilted. Do you agree?  Do  you think  that there needs  to be changes?  At the moment, I am busy  with  kids issues, I  will get back later 
Kind regards 
Andrew