I Still Love

Love's still here; I thought it had died and disappeared,
it's hard to believe with what I've seen, heard, and lived.
Nope, not easy to explain how I'm different from changes just this year,
My vision is forward, my memories view is rear.
I apologized for all the harsh angry blow ups and rants,
I was hurt, I felt used, I couldnt focus, I was a tyrant.
Nothing could apease the unholy torture I beget,
The foul arrogance and pride defining my mindset.
My identity was lost in failure and rejection,
I emerged from lower depths by way of soulful introspection.
I gave up; surrendered to destruction,
my personal weaknesses I had to discover.
I have began to love again, in a healthier way,
its innocent, concerned, prayerful, humorous, and on display.
I cope more maturely, I breathe and count to ten,
pause and think, compose my opinion, speak not unto sin.
What was lost that I regained is my friend,
hard earned growth, developed from within.
Its more than being nice, more than being right,
I communicate delicately when I'd prefer to start a fight.
A better me for family, the children we share,
The people behind my motivation, inspiration, and for whom I care.
I never thought I could hate what I loved,
Life's lessons come in so many forms.
Loving what I hated, that I once loved, was a matter of truceful choice.
It took a long time to heal, but I now honor my divorce.