Between the Lines Chapter 6

My best friend in campus was a guy called Camphor. Camphor was half French and half Vietnamese. He was part of our whiz kid gang and loved experimenting. He had made a software for card games, which gave you about 62 choices of different card games to choose from. He was also an economics major and was working on building a trading platform. I often helped him with collecting data, for his tool, and he helped me with sourcing junk from second-hand shops to build my robots.  

I had joined the drama club after a few weeks of meeting Guno. I had to. She was never interested in me, and so I had to find a way of being near her. The drama club was god's gift to me. I often asked Camphor to tag along with me to the drama club. After a month I even persuaded him to join the drama club. We had to rake our brains and rote dialogues for the audition to get into the drama club. But eventually, we got in. The drama club met twice a week on Wednesdays and Friday evenings after school. Olivia still tagged on my arms, more so when she saw Guno. We still had lunch together at our Vietnamese cafe a few days a week. But Olivia had recently started to get clingier, and I was not sure why. I was at first a bit uncomfortable and wary, but Guno didn’t seem to mind, so I didn't care. Guno sometimes referred to me as your friend when she spoke to Olivia. That enraged me further.

I decided to confront Olivia and tell her the truth, and clear up any misunderstanding if there were any. What was the truth? That I didn’t know. But nevertheless, I decided to talk to her. On a Friday evening, on our way out of the drama club, I spoke to Olivia. I told her that I was happy to have her as a friend, but I was not comfortable with her holding my arms all the time. “I meant to talk to you about this a few weeks earlier, but what I mean is we are just friends, and I hope you understand that”, I told her. Olivia had first tried to avoid the discussion. But I persisted. Olivia was attractive, tall and a bit on the heavier side. She was chirpy and fun to be with. But she was too outgoing for my liking. I explained to her how I felt about her. I could see tears at the edge of her eyes. “It’s Guno, isn’t it? You seemed to like me a lot before you met her”, she remarked. “No, it is not her. You are mistaken. She is not even a friend”, I replied. "But the fact is, I don't love you, not as a girl. I mean I like you as a friend", I explained.

Guno barged out of the drama hall. She smiled and waved at us. Olivia gave her an angry look. She was about to leave when Guno caught her hand and said, “Hey, What is it, Olivia? Girl, you look upset?”. “It’s you”, replied Olivia curtly. “I always knew you guys had something going on. I should have realized”, she added. “Which you guys?”, Guno asked. “She means us”, I replied. “But Hubert is just a friend. You introduced me to him remember. He is actually just like a brother to me!”, she explained to Olivia. Olivia stood there completely confused and burst out crying. Guno hugged her tight. “He is saying I am just a friend. How could he? I like him so much”, Olivia sobbed. Now she was behaving like a five-year-old child. Guno looked at me with accusing eyes, as if I was her father. I was heartbroken.  What did she mean by saying that I was like her brother? I didn’t  even know she had a brother. I cursed myself for being such a fool. I felt like I was about to vomit.

“Look, Olivia, we are just friends, and let us keep it that way. I don’t think I have ever given you the impression that you are more than a friend to me. But if I have hurt your feelings in any way I sincerely apologize”, I said. Olivia did not reply. She was still crying on Guno’s shoulder. I left the sulking ladies to deal with their mental issues. I had plenty of mine to deal with. I returned to my apartment and poured myself some whiskey. I had only one bottle; I was living primarily on my stipend. I gulped one drink and then another. I felt much better and was able to breathe now. By the time I finished my third drink, it was almost midnight. The bell rang, and I opened the door. To my surprise, it was Olivia and Guno. I stepped aside, to let the ladies in.

“I will stay outside. I believe Olivia wants to talk to you in private”, said Guno. “Sure”, I replied. Olivia was surprised to see my small apartment. She was much more settled now and seemed to be her usual chirpy self. “I know you were not unfair. You are a cute guy, and I really like you. But I guess, you just think of me as a friend”, she said, trying hard not to mince her words. I replied,”Yes Olivia, I consider you as a great friend, but I don’t see you as my girlfriend. I hope you forgive me if on any instance I may have given you the wrong impression”, I declared. I wanted, to be frank, and honest. “I understand, but lets still be friends”, she said. I nodded. “So you are coming to the lunch place tomorrow, right?”, she asked chirpily. “I don’t know Olivia. Frankly, I don't think I should. We can still be friends, but I guess it is better for both of us to just meet in groups if you know what I mean. I just don’t want to create any unnecessary confusion”, I said. “Sure”, she replied curtly. “Ok, I must leave know, I have a morning class tomorrow”, she said. I opened the door for her, and she left hastily.

Guno was still standing outside. She had probably overheard everything. I had left the door ajar slightly, or at least I wished she had. “I must leave too”, she said. “Could you call me a taxi. I actually came in Olivia’s car, but I think she forgot that”, she said forcing a smile. “Why don’t  you come in. Let me grab my keys. I will drop you”, I said. “You are drunk”, she retorted rudely. “Stop acting like you are my sister”, I shouted. “Do you even have a brother?”, I asked, still shouting at her. Tears were rolling down her earthy cheeks. She looked like a statue carved in stone. Her tears seemed to enrage me further. “Do you think I am your brother?”, I repeated. “I seriously didn’t know what to say then, I am sorry”, she managed to reply amidst her sobs. I refused to forgive her. She was mean and cruel, and as much as I loved her, I did not understand her.

Her eyes were mesmerizing. Her lips like the first summer raspberries, that I so badly wanted to taste. “Are you a homosexual?”, I blurted. She suddenly stopped crying and stared at me with the wild scared eyes of a lost cat. I crept closer to her. She crept back. Her back was now brushing against the wall. “You look confused”, I said. “I want your car keys”, she replied. “What?”, was all I could manage to say. “I will drive back home myself”, she replied. The cat eyes were not scared anymore. I held her shoulders to the wall, as I kissed her. She was passionate and sweet, and she smelled like the wet forest after the first shower of the day.

“Do you love me?”, I asked. "Why do you ask", she replied. There was a faint smile at the corner of her mouth. I caressed her hair, falling over her eyes. "Because I do", I managed to reply. My throat was choked with passion. “I will head back home now”, she said and freed herself from my embrace. I let her go. “I will drop you home”, I called after her. She was already rushing down the stairs. I grabbed my car keys and rushed after her.