Jeremiah's Fortune

 

Jeremiah’s Fortune    - By Paul McCann

I sat at the bar in Sean O’Caseys one evening with Brian . Before us were two  dark pint glasses half filled with stout . The pints had their own time to be finished and it wasn’t soon .

We were in no hurry to finish up and go home and as we sat there talking to one another I noticed this well dressed woman in the corner looking over at me . It never dawned on me that she had been listening to my conversation about the bumped up prices of cottage’s in Buncrana . Not that I knew much about real estate anyhow . I was just making talk and bluffing my way .

At the end of the day all I was looking for was a place to get my head down . To cut a long story short I was flat broke and hadn’t worked for quite some time so what would I know about high finance .

 The well dressed lady came over and joined in the conversation ,

“Are you thinking about buying a place in Buncrana then ?”  Says she with a query in her voice .

“Oh it’s a bit beyond me .“   says I

I still remember the look on her face . It was innocent and genuine as she spoke . I though to myself who have I ..She took out a book from her handbag and opened it up . Running her finger down a list things to do in the months ahead she said ,

“I’m soon to be heading to Eire Square on business and I’m looking for someone to look after my old place in Donegal .  Just upkeep around the place and some general maintenance if your interested . In return I’ll give you the cottage rent free for six months. It would give you some time to have a look around Buncrana and get acquainted with the locals there .“

Brian kicked my feet under the table . Then he raised his pint glass and finished which was out of character for him . Wiping his lips he said ,              “Listen Danny I’ve got somewhere to go . I’ll catch you later on .“

Before I could speak Brian was out the door and away . The well dressed woman came and sat beside me at the bar . She sat her glass beside mine .

Unsure of what to do or say I scrambled for words to impress her .

“Actually I’m a writer and would love to take some time out in Donegal .“

“Isn’t it a small world . I’m a writer as well. My name is Clare  .“                                                            She said . I reached out my hand and to her and she grasped it gently .

 “Nice to meet you . My name is Danny and its very nice of you to open your home to me but the thing is Clare you see, my car is off the road at present and I’m not sure how I would be able to get to Donegal  .“

 ”Is that so .“   She said and I replied ..

“I’m afraid so . Clare as much as I would love to take up your offer I’ll have to let it go .“

She opened her handbag and took out a book . She gave it to me and said ,

“I wrote this book and published it myself .It’s taken me five years . Now the hard work is only beginning . I am personally going to sell it and could do with a helping hand . If you look after my cottage for me . I can be free to travel around the country speaking to people and selling my work .“

I opened the book and skimmed through the pages . The book was about making garments from tweed . It explained the process from the sheep’s back to the finished article . Each painful step was explained in detail . There were photographs, sketches and fashion designs and patters “.

“Looks like you’ve been busy “ I said .

“ Its been a lot of hard work “.She replied .

I tried to be open and encouraging about her work .A s one writer to another I  got into a very lengthy conversation about the book . As we talked she bought  a few drinks , and I kept talking and she kept bringing the drinks . At the end of the night I told her I would be glad to look after her cottage . She was delighted and said ,

“Thank you Danny . I am so grateful .”

“I’m not sure how to get there . Can you give me some directions Clare “
I asked .

 “Catch the bus from Dublin to Donegal . It leaves twice a day from the fancy clothes shop at the end of the main street “.

I nodded and she began to draw me a map on a scrap of paper . She marked a place on the map called  Jerimiahs Lane then she wrote down a phone number where she could be contacted . She gave me the scrap of paper  and said ,

“ When you get to Donegal ask the driver to let you off at Doris Hill. If you should need to contact me at any time I’ve put down a phone number where I can be reached . .“

“Well what the heck I guess . It all sounds ok Clare . I’ve nothing to loose ."                                             Says I as I took the scrap of paper . She smiled and .

“Yes indeed . Now after you get off the bus follow the only road there and that will take you to Jerimiahs Lane . My cottage is the last property on the lane”

She said ,

“How will I know it ?” I asked .

 “There is an old well in the middle of an overgrown garden . That’s my land and the key to the cottage is under the large white stone by the well” .

“What jobs do you need done .“

“Just keep the place tidy until I return . I may be gone for at least six months, maybe more. If I get inspired I may even start another book . “

“Anything else I need to know ?”

“Well now there is no electricity and you’ll have to fetch your water from the well . But I’m sure you’re used to roughing it .“

With that Clare got up and left . I sat there for a while thinking about Donegal and at first it all sounded really romantic but the more I thought about drawing water from the well every day and sitting around in the candle light the more I could see me not going . But then again I had told her I would and in my books you’re as good as your word . So without another word I finished my drink and went to chase the morning light .

The next morning I caught the bus . Getting on I asked the driver if he knew of a Doris Hill in Donegal . Sure enough he said he did and so after a good hours drive he driver let me off at Doris Hill  .I got off the bus and started to walk down the road for quite some time until I found not one lane but several lanes and none of them were signposted .  It was going to be pot luck if I took the right one or not .  I walked for miles without seeing any cottage . There was no sign of life anywhere .  I took out the map Clare had drawn and checked it up this way and that way . I doubled back and took another lane but as it got dark I still hadn’t found the cottage or Jerimiahs Lane . I went to the highest ground I        could find in the hope to see some lights or any sign of life but there wasn’t a light to be seen anywhere . Darkness fell and there was I stranded in the middle of nowhere . Well I thought I better get my head down and so I sat down on the ground as the cold wind buffeted my face . I started to feel the cold as I realised I was going to spend the night under the stars.             As I lay there my eyes eventually started to close . Suddenly I was awoke by a drunk who tripped over my body . Both of us let out a scream in shock and like a busted balloon I jumped to my feet, shaping up .

”Who are you and what do you want ?”   Says I .

“Jerimiahs my name and who might you be stranded sober here on my road in the middle of the night .“ Says he and I replied ,   'Dannys my name. “

After a while we both settled down a little . Then from his pocket he produced a drop of the mountain dew . We shared a swig or two and a laugh or two and eventually in the dead of night we both fell fast asleep .

Next morning I found a head on my shoulders that I wish had dropped off during the night . The bright sunlight pierced my eyes and as lay there looking through the hole in the thatch of an old cottage . Suddenly the front door opened and in walked Jerimiah .

“Jeazus boyo what a night that was “
He said as I sat up slowly . In a kind of a daze I said ,

“Jerimiah what a fright you gave me last night .“

In the light of day I could see him clearly now . He was as big as a mountain and this red beard clung to his face like it was never going to leave without a fight . His hair was long and tattered with his eyes were fierce and full of fire . His hands were like two dirty spades as they unloaded two clods of turf into an open fire already smoking up some salmon . His voice was friendly and I chanced to shake his hand .

“Jerimiaha I’m not sure if you know of a woman called Clare but it was she who sent me here . I’m to look after her cottage in Jerimiahs Lane until she returns from her travels. “

I told him about Clare and he listened and then he told me about Clare.

”I can take you to her cottage and also to her poor invalid husband in a wheelchair who I’ve been taking care of for the past six months while she’s been away on her travels . It was only by chance that I found her husband barely alive in his wheelchair . One night half drunk I was on my way back from the bacon slicers when l heard him screaming out for help . The electricity was cut and so was the water to the cottage . He wouldn’t have survived a week and that’s what Clare wanted I’ll tell you . “

I sat there surprise and asked , “Why ?” 

“For the insurance . She had his life insured for a huge cover . She never counted on me finding him though. I rearranged the area a little and put in a few extra laneways and signposts and just to confuse things a bit more I’ve knocked down her cottage and have been looking after John ever since  “

“Holy Mother Of God .“   Says I .

‘Have you got a contact for Clare . A phone number or an address?”

He asked .

I produced the scrap of paper and nodded . The Jerimiah went over to his bedroom door and brought out John in his wheelchair . 

“Tell her about this little surprise I have waiting for her if she wants to return  .  and tell her I said Jerimiah said hello .“

I was stunned ,

“Jerimiah why did she ask me to come here ?”                                                  I asked .

“Work it out Danny . You were the one that was meant to find her husbands dead body . You were the one who was going to get the ball rolling for her .“

“I’m out of here .”

I said as I got to my feet . Jerimiah laughed and laughed and said ,

“Listen before you go . Let me tell you something else . There was an old well on her property . What she didn’t know was there was a fortune at the bottom of it . I found bundles of money all wrapped up in oil skins . The funny thing is  I’m rich now and if you have time tell her about that as well when you ring her on the phone. ”.                                                           

 

                                 THE END