Moonshine

The moon went out. Just like that. There and then gone, as though God's hand had flicked the switch or Mohammed had forgotten to change the bulb. But no-one noticed, or very few. It was a waning moon well below a quarter full, a thin sliver that was barely there. It disappeared at exactly midnight last November. I stayed awake all night waiting for it to reappear. I dozed during the day following and they came to see that I ate and took the pills. There should have been a moon the next night, but there wasn't, I watched through the night.

I heard them talking the next day,

'This is new. It will be the medication. Fallschirm published a paper on this very thing.'

'Fallschirm! He is an idiot. McIntosh's extensive tests have proved beyond-'

'Doubt? There is always doubt.'

There were very few times that the white coats skirted the truth so closely.

The new moon did not reappear on the appointed night. I supposed that no-one noticed. If only we had been near the sea. Perhaps then someone would have.

They changed the pills. I stayed awake every night, waiting for the return of the moon.

'Is he eating? What do the notes say?'

'They say he is not.'

'He has lost weight, surely?'

'Very little. He drinks the water, though no-one sees him do it.'

One of them shone a pencil torch into my left eye.

'Pupil contracts normally. When did he speak last, again?'

'Over two weeks ago.'

Well, of course!

And still the moon hid its face.

'He is fading.'

Far from the truth. I understood. They did not. The tubes and wires were inconvenient, but I could see the window overhead. Even so, I no longer needed to keep vigil.

Now I know. It was no omnipotent hand which extinguished the moon. I look down at the blue sphere and imagine the white coats around the empty bed. I wax and wane, I am the Lord of Tides.