Adopt a Tiger (4)

Susan had a busy morning feeding the tiger and cleaning out the cage as per Billy The Pie's instructions. She had just finished when someone rang the doorbell. It was Lulu from next door.

"Hello dearie," he said, "Hope you don't mind me calling round, but Grunt had an idea."

"Not at all. Thanks for your help yesterday. What's the idea?"

"TV."

"TV?"

"Yes. TV companies are always in need of tigers. They feature in adverts, vet-based dramas, there was even an episode of Morse where a tiger was the killer. If you contact the TV production companies and let them know you have a tiger for hire it could be the end of your money worries." 

"I wouldn't know where to start."

"Which is why I'm offering to help. I've worked with all sorts over the years, I'll send you my list of contacts. I spoke to a few people already, they couldn't help but they tell me the going rate is £2000 a day, plus food and transport. Ask for a realistic sum and they'll take you seriously."

"£2000 a day, that's amazing."

Susan spent the day emailing TV production companies and following up with phone calls. Most said that they'd keep her details on file, a few were dismissive, "We've got a tiger we always use dear, we're not interested," but towards the end of the day she struck lucky. She called one of the last companies on her list and was surprised to speak to an actual manager, who actually seemed pleased to hear from her."

"Funny enough we've got a project in pre-production about a woman who inherits a tiger," he said. "What's your tiger's name?"

"Terrence Oblong," Susan said, repeating the name she'd been given by the tiger charity.

"That's a strange name for a tiger," said the man. "I'll put Terrence down for the audition - it's tomorrow at 3.00 pm if you can both make it."

"Audition? I didn't realise you auditioned the animals."

"Oh yes, some animals just can't act at all, some have no screen presence. You have to be careful, if you need a parrot who can say humorous lines for instance you need to audition thousands, most parrots aren't remotely funny."

"You need a funny tiger?"

"No, that was just an example. The tiger needs to, well I don't want to give away what the panel are looking for, but he needs to be scary, he needs to catch the eye, he needs to ... you know, have a bit of the stardust. There's no point hiring a tiger that just stands there snarling with no emotion, no connection with the audience."

She wrote down the address and promised to be there. 

Feeling quite overwhelmed by her day's work she went to visit the tiger in her patio.

"We're going to make you a TV star Terrence. Or maybe not. Do you have what it takes Terrence, do you have the stardust?"

The tiger looked at her blankly.

'We've no chance', she thought to herself. 'If I've ever seen a tiger without stardust then this is that tiger.'

But she would find out for sure the next day.