The Fifth Horseman (2)

Realisation dawned on the other three Horsemen. The world was going to end, and it wouldn't be through Pestilence, War or Famine.

"You mean it doesn't end by war!" shrieked War. "All of my effort, an eternity stirring up irrational hatred. I created Putin and Braverman for nothing."

"YOU HAVE ALL PLAYED YOUR ROLES. I HAVE NEVER CEASED GATHERING SOULS IN ALL TIME. YOUR COMBINED EFFORTS HAVE SAVED MAN FROM THE CURSE OF IMORTALITY."

"How long have we got?" I said.

"LET'S HAVE VISUALS.” The roof lifted. Outside was a normal day in Death's realm, where the clouds are all carved in the shape of departed gods; gods who have run out of believers. Jeff, the god of the unimpressively named, Truss, the god of simultaneous catastrophe.

And in the sky between the clouds a light, bright, oh so bright, distant but getting nearer, burning its way through the sky, lighting the sky like a second sun.

"It's a rather beautiful way to die," I said.

"Give me a good battle any day," said War.

"Oh, must you always fight," I said.

Pestilence and Famine were still and silent.

"AND SO, THE END COMES."

The light neared. The end neared.

"Impressive isn't it," said a sixth figure.

"Go away," bellowed War, "Whoever you are, we don't have a horse for you. As it is one of the horsemen has to ride around on a rock."

"Who are you?" I said.

The figure, who would be played by David Tennant in the movie version, beamed back at me.

"I am the Ingenuity of Man."  

As he spoke new lights appeared, rising from the Earth, up to the approaching meteor. "Here, better put these on," he said, passing me a pair of sunglasses. "There are going to be fireworks."

"The lights collided and there was an enormous eruption of light, as if the sun had travelled over to Earth to see what was going on, and then they were gone. Normality was restored.

"My lovely rock," cried MeteorStrike. It's carried me all this way."

"Never mind," said War, "Mankind won't last long. The next big war can't be far away, and with the weapons they have now that will be the end of all things."

"I have a gift for you, Lord War," said Ingenuity.

"What!" bellowed War. "A peace treaty. But Putin assured me..."

"And for you Lady Pestilence."

"Another vaccine! I hate vaccines, they're unnatural, they stop disease and death."

"Not just a vaccine, a vaccine so clearly effective and free from side effects that will be 100% take-up. And for you Famine, a gift that will put you out of work forever."

"What's this?" said Famine, puzzled. "A political system that ensures the fair distribution of the fruits of the earth. But that will end all death through poverty and famine."

"AND WHEN THESE GIFTS ARE DELIVERED THERE WILL BE NO NEED FOR ME. I SHALL RESIGN."

The vision ended and the play stopped.

We were back where the story had begun, with just myself and Death. War, Plague, Famine, Meteor Strike and the Ingenuity of Man, they had never really been there, they were mere characters in a story. The whole enactment had been merely a tale to illustrate a point, a creative whim.

"I only asked if you ever thought about retiring," I said.

"I SHALL NEVER RETIRE. AS LONG AS HUMANITY BEHAVES LIKE HUMANITY. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A NEED FOR ME."