Couch Potatoes and Limp Lettuces Leaves

"Hello, old bean. Won any fight lately?"

Joe Green sighed and rolled his eyes. Another one who thought he was a comedian!

It was a common mistake to think that Mr. Green was a pancratiast because of a squashed nose and cauliflower ears.

He was nothing of the sort. His knowledge of the marquess of Queensberry's rules was superficial. The only physical activity he undertook and was skilled in was gardening. 

Always calm and collected, he never employed brute force when attending to his vegetable plot. As cool as a cucumber, except when he had to deal with clay soil, in which case he exerted such energy that his face would become as red as a tomato.

He had two sons, identical twins in appearance: two peas in a pod with green eyes and ginger hair, who were indistinguishable to everyone but their father and mother.

Of the two, Tom was the laziest, a real couch potato forever reading comics and eating sweets. Joe didn't trust him to know how many beans make five.

Geoff, on the other hand, although he looked as limp as a lettuce leaf,  was not as green as he was cabbage-looking and quite capable in his own quiet way.

Despite their differences, they were loved in equal measure by their parents. Joe often wondered from whom the two carrot heads inherited the red hair as both he and his wife Betty were blond.

In the local pub, he scoffed at his mates who teased him by pointing out that the only other ginger top in the village was the milkman.

© Luigi Pagano 2023