We're not in Kansas anymore!

She exited the building with a white, starched towel, and a good book. She decided to lay under the beautiful cherry blossom tree that was in full bloom. The ground was damp from the torrential rain the night before, but nothing would make her squander the smell the freshly mown grass in the air.

As she was fighting yet another wicked bout of depression, having only 1 hour out of her day to experience the fresh air, wasn’t helping. Covid was rampant in the hospital she resided in…for a while at least. All of the wards were closed, their service users only getting one precious allotted time slot in a day.

She closed her eyes and lay on the soggy ground, which made the towel damp, and pondered how the rest of the world was turning. ‘Is it as turbulent as mine?’ she wondered, whilst staring up at the bright blue sky, the sun beaming down on her.  It was a beautiful spring day, the birds chirping as they constructed their nests in the tree above her.

When she first felt her face become wet, she said to herself ‘oh no!’ with disappointment, ‘it’s raining!’. She sat up with a start, knocking over her book, and wiped what conspired to be tears off her face with her sleeve. ‘Uh-oh!’ she thought, ‘I’m crying again!’ crying was something she was not used to. Before, she felt like her eyes were like a dessert, full of sand, but lately, the tears came and went of their own accord. She had no power over them. Her councillor, and doctor, encouraged the act, as they thought it to be a healthy release of emotion. She wasn’t too sure, but since she started, she couldn’t grasp that it was a good thing and embrace it.

She looked at her watch. It was 14:27. ‘ok,’ she thought sarcastically, ‘only another thirty-three minutes in this beautiful, green, garden.’ She lay back down on the soggy towel and closed her eyes. She felt the sun on her skin and heard the seagulls cackle from the building behind her. She was immediately transported to a time when she was on the crowded beach in her seaside town. She could smell the saltiness of the waves as they crashed against the adjacent rocks. She could hear the laughter of her cousins playing in the sand as their mothers warned them not to get too close to the water. She could taste the black current juice box her mother always packed. She remembered that, because she was older, she was allowed up to a certain freckle on her leg. She dared not to go in any further as she couldn’t swim and was afraid the natural ebb and flow of the water would drag her out to sea until she met Australia. That’s what her mother always said to put the fear of God into her. She was unsure whether she was allowed up to her designated freckle before or after a wave slammed into her body.

The waves, which knocked her over on occasion, were perfect for surfers. She was lucky, as there were two beaches next to to each other. The sandy beach was where all the tourists came, some of whom had never even seen the sea before, yet alone swam in it! There was also a stony beach. That was usually where you’d see surfers try to get up on their boards, fall down, paddle further out to sea, and repeat the action over and over. She never saw the appeal herself, but it was still funny when they were swallowed up by the white, foamy waves.

She jumped as she felt the tap, tap, tap on her shoulder. It was one of the health care assistants. ‘It’s time to go in now,’ they said. ‘I have thirty-three minutes left!’ she replied and then looked at her watch. ‘I had thirty-three minutes left!’ she corrected herself with a grimace. In fact, she had gone over her allotted time by ten minutes. ‘C’mon and I’ll walk you in!’ the health care assistant smiled through her eyes, a mask covering their face. She, herself, was prompted to reapply hers. ‘You fell asleep’ the HCA said, ‘d’you dream of sometin nice?’

As she got up from the freshly mown soggy grass and picked up her book and towel, she looked around to reorientate herself. In place of the sunny seaside was a walled garden that you could only access with a key. The health care assistant walked with her, side by side, swiping her key against the electrical keypad beside the door. When the keypad turned green three times the door opened and she said to herself, ‘we’re not in Kansas anymore,’ took a deep breath in and entered the old, listed building, intending on transporting herself into another happier time the following day.

Escorted up to her ward, the HCA swiped her card again, and again the green light flashed three times before the door opened. That was as far as they could go as they abided by hospital regulations. Her mind told her to sit out in the common area, but instead, she returned to her room, this time her card key opened the door. She threw the soggy towel in the corner and placed her book on her desk. She sat on her bed and looked out the single glazed, rusty window. Oh how she longed to be back outside again! She took out her phone and set her alarm for twenty minutes before her wards allotted time for the following day. Yea, that would give her time to grab yet another starchy towel, and repeat the process over again!