Farewell Is a Lonely Sound (Dead Reckoning series - Part 13)

Continued from Episode 12 (Stop Her On Sight (S.O.S.))

The story so far:   Josiah appears to have rekindled a romance with an old flame, Jeanette DeVille, much to Samantha Knight's annoyance, whilst Archibald seems to be enamoured of her 'goth'-like daughter, Precious.  Detectives Wood and Stone were surprised to find another old 'friend', Lawrence Hamble, working in a jewller's shop that had recently been robbed.  The descriiptions of those apparently involved, a well-bred lady, her husband and a 'goth'-like girl, might sound a little familiar, perhaps?:

 

Archibald whistled, tunelessly, as the hearse which had, until recently, contained the late Edwin Brood and which now comprised just Archibald and his employer, Josiah Oakshott, edged its way down the road, along with the rest of the traffic caught in the jam.

“Ever thought about it?” Archibald asked, conversationally.

Josiah, who was, at that moment, deeply involved in a train of thought that strongly featured Jeanette DeVille, started guiltily.

“Thought?   Thought about what?”

“You know, funerals and stuff” Archibald explained, without really explaining anything.

“Given our occupation, I think of little else!” Josiah snapped, annoyed that his reverie had been broken.

“I think I used to know her!” Archibald chuckled.

“Know whom?”

“That Little Else you were on about” Archibald wound a window down to let a little air through, “she used to knock around with my Nan.  Tiny little woman, could drink her own weight in stout, you know who I mean?”

“I am delighted to report that I have never made the lady’s acquaintance” Josiah said, with a shudder, “and I fail to see how she relates to your original question”

“Original question?” Archibald furrowed his brow and thought, furiously, “Oh yeah, I was just thinking about funerals and stuff, and I wondered if you’d thought about yours?”

“Well, yes, I have given the matter some thought” Josiah nodded.

“It’s not gonna involve ‘orses and plumes and stuff, is it?” Archibald asked, suspiciously.  He could still feel the bruise from an unfortunate incident, involving one of the hired horses, from a rather grand funeral a few weeks ago.

“No, that would not be my preferred style” Josiah replied, although, if he was honest with himself, he could see the attraction, “I think something…dignified, understated even, simple but classic”

“I could pass the hat around, at work, and we could get one of them floral tributes” Archibald grinned, “you know, like them that spell out ‘MAM’ or ‘DAD’ and stuff.  We could get one with ‘MR O’ done out in chrysanth’s or summat, what do you reckon?”

Josiah shuddered.

“Whilst I understand, and am entirely grateful for, the kind thought, I think that such a tribute would hardly fit with my ‘simple but classic’ motif, if you take my meaning?”

“Oh! No chrysanth’s then?”

“A simple but stylish wreath would be more than sufficient” Josiah said, firmly, “however, I feel absolutely fine and in top form, so such plans are not, unsurprisingly, foremost in my mind.  How about you, Archibald, do you have any plans?”

“Well, no, not to be honest” Archibald edged the hearse forward a few inches, “I can’t say I’ve really thought about it”

“Hardly surprising” Josiah nodded, “you’re a relatively young man with your whole life ahead of you.  It would be somewhat concerning if you were fixated on your funeral arrangements”

“I suppose, if I’ve thought about it at all, I reckon one of them burials at sea could work”

Josiah looked at his employee with some surprise.

“A burial at sea?  Do you have naval connections?”

“Nah” Archibald shook his head, dismissively, “they cut all that stuff off when I was born, well, that’s what me Mam said, any road”

“I mean, did any members of your family serve in the Navy?”

“She said she wouldn’t go through all that again, not for a big clock!” Archibald continued with his reminiscence.

“Why would you want a burial at sea?” Josiah snapped, in an attempt to drag the conversation back to its original topic.

“Eh?” Archibald looked temporarily confused, “Oh, right, yeah, well it looks like it could be a bit of fun”

“Fun?” Josiah looked astounded.

“Yeah, you know, what with all that sliding down into the water, and stuff!”

“You do appreciate, Archibald, that this is not in the nature of a waterpark ride?”

“Well, yeah but…”

“And that, even if it were so, you would not, consciously, be taking part in the proceedings?”

“Well, I suppose so” Archibald conceded, grudgingly.

“So, a burial at sea would confer no particular benefit on you, personally and would not fit with any family tradition of service.  On the whole, it would be somewhat difficult to think of a less appropriate ceremony, do you not think?”

“I don’t see why it shouldn’t be a bit of fun, an’ all” Archibald grumbled, sulkily.

“There are many and varied ways of taking your leave from this world,” Josiah pointed out, “you are by no means confined to the twin options of burial or cremation.  I understand that one possibility is that of having your ashes fired into space, or into the atmosphere, certainly” Josiah made a mental note to find out more about this.

“Oh yeah!” Archibald brightened up, considerably, “that would be a laugh, wouldn’t it?”

“I would, however, draw your attention to my earlier remarks concerning you not, consciously, being part of the proceedings”

“Well, yeah” Archibald said, somewhat deflated, “mind you, what goes up must come down, don’t they reckon?”

“It is a function of gravity that has been commented upon”

“Well, there you are then!” Archibald grinned, “with a bit of luck, I could come down on Bilston, that’d serve ‘em right”

“Most original” Josiah nodded and smiled, “I don’t think I have ever been party to a vindictive committal, before”

* * * *

“I’ve finally got the CCTV back from the High Street” D.S. Stone announced, triumphantly, as he barged into D.I. Wood’s office.

“Good for you!” D.I. Wood snarled, his toe had been throbbing quite a bit, lately, despite the medication, and he was not feeling particularly well disposed toward humanity in general and D.S. Stone in particular.

“I’ve been going through it, and they’re there, all right” D.S. Stone continued, undaunted.

“Who are?”

“The people that Mr. Hamble said had been in the jeweller’s”

“Really?  Bugger!” D.I. Wood said, with feeling.

“Why, what’s wrong with that?”  D.S. Stone looked perplexed.

“What’s wrong with it?  What’s wrong is that I’d hoped he’d made it all up and had it away with the necklace himself, that’s what!”  D.I. Wood shifted his leg, slightly, to a more comfortable position on the stool that was supporting it.

“Lawrence Hamble?”

“Yes, Lawrence Hamble!” D.I. Wood snapped, “he was mixed up in that Frankie Knight business, however you dress it up, so why not get a bit light-fingered with the jewellery stock, eh?” (See ‘Bring Out Your Dead’)

“He was cleared of any involvement, sir” D.S. Stone reminded him.

“’He was cleared of any involvement, sir’” D.I. Wood mimicked his Sergeant, “doesn’t mean he wasn’t up to his neck in it, not from where I’m sitting, anyway”

“How’s the foot today, sir?”

“It’s just fine and dandy, thank you, Sergeant” D.I. Wood snapped, “what are you implying, eh?”

“Nothing sir” D.S. Stone responded, innocently, “just wondered”

“So, what’s on the CCTV then?”

D.S. Stone opened his tablet and started to play the video.

“You can see, here sir, that the ‘goth’ looking girl comes out first, and heads toward the camera…”

“Can we get a better look at her?” D.I. Wood peered at the screen.

“I’m afraid not, sir.” D.S. Stone shook his head, “she appears to be wearing some sort of shawl, or something, around her head and that’s partially covering her face”

“Knew what she was about, then” D.I. Wood commented, grimly.

“Possibly,” D.S. Stone concurred, “we’ve been unable to get any form of visual identification, I’m afraid.  Shortly after, the other two come out of the jeweller’s at a trot, just here, do you see?”

“Yeah, I can see them” D.I. Wood nodded.

“Only they head in the opposite direction, away from the camera, so, again, we can’t get any firm identification”

“Anything on any of the other cameras?”

“No sir, they seem to drop off the radar” D.S. Stone closed his tablet.

“What, all three of them?”

“Yes sir, there’s no further sighting of any of them” D.S. Stone confirmed, sadly.

“Well, that’s than then!” D.I. Wood brushed his hands together, dismissively, “we waste no more time on this, Sergeant.  We’ve got better things to do than waste our days chasing necklaces that might never have been nicked, in the first place”

“Never been nicked?” D.S. Stone raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, that’s right” D.I. Wood nodded, “it could be an inside job.  I’m still not ruling out Laurence ‘I had nothing to do with it’ Hamble.  Or, it could be that Scrivener bloke doing an insurance swindle.  Either way, it’s not worth us wasting our valuable time on it”

“Well, yes, possibly, but…”

“Oh flaming hell, now what?” D.I. Wood snapped, irritably.

“Well, I’ve been going through the National Crime Database…” D.S. Stone began.

“Isn’t there a life you should be living, Sergeant?”

“I’m sure there is, sir” D.S. Stone responded, with feeling, “but I think I’ve found something”

“What?”

“Six months ago, in Leeds, a virtually identical theft from a High Street jeweller’s.  They never caught the culprits, but the descriptions are a good match for our gang”

“Bugger!” D.I. Wood said, with feeling, “That’s all we’re short of!”

Josiah and Archibald and a missing corpse on the Spanish mainland?  That's what led to this current series of stories and you can find out all about it in 'Bring Out Your Dead' (link is external) available now in both Kindle and paperback versions.

Now read Part 14