Soaped

"Do you know what our grandson just told me?"
"Something controversial, by the tone of your voice."
"So he works at the restaurant, right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"Yeah, so, they dump the water from peoples water glasses into the washing. That's disgusting!"
"...why is that disgusting?"
"People drink from that glass! Their backwash is in that!"
"...and?"
"And to think that peoples' backwash is used to wash the dishes I eat off is disgusting! How is that not repulsive?"
"What about the forks?"
"What ABOUT the forks?"
"People who eat with forks go into the wash also."
"But they're not washing the other forks with those forks."
"It's the same thing."
"You're insane! All of the gross backwash, all that water that ran across peoples nasty gross teeth, their nasty cavities and infected mouth fissures and the back of their sore thoats all going into the water that washes the dishes?"
"What is wrong with your brain?"
"MY brain?"
"Yeah! You think people just swish the water around in their mouth, gargle it? Gurgle it? Is it gargle? gurgle? Whatever. You think they just spit it back out into the glass and return it to the waiter? 'Um yeah, get me a new glass of water please, this water has mouth sore-juice in it.' No. No person does that."
"It could do."
"No, it couldn't. Anyway, even if they did, it wouldn't matter if they did do."
"How can you believe that?"
"It's the soap, you lunatic! The soap is what makes the things clean. All of the food that gets washed off the forks and whatever are all up in that water, too, you dingbat!"
"But the water! The water touches all of it! The soap and the stuff to get washed! It's mixed together! I am never eating there again, even if our grandson does work there."
"Then you're going to have to stop going to any restaurant ever, and stop using your own plates and forks and whatever at home too!"
"You wash the dishes like that?"
"Are you kidding me? Who are you and what have you done with your regular brain? Are you drunk? High on something?"
"I can't believe you would swish water into your mouth and then spit it into the wash! Why did I marry you?"
"You are a complete nutcase. I never said that."
"You just said I would have to stop eating here! That means you do it!"
"NEITHER OF US DO IT YOU OLD BAT!"
"BUT PEOPLE COULD DO IT AND THEN I WOULD BE EATING THEIR BACKWASH!"
"NO! It's the soap, you half-witted coot! The soap makes it not stick to any of the things!"
"But the soap is mixed with the gross stuff!"
"Then how do you expect them to wash anything? Dip everything in pure soap? Wouldn't a pure-soap container be reused, too? For each individual fork and glass?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Everything is mixed together to get washed. You dunk all of the plates from when we eat at the house here, into the same presoak wash."
"But then I wash them off in the sink!"
"Nancy BLOODY Drew to the rescue! You think they don't rinse them, too?"
"What?"
"All of the gross slivers of fat people have pulled out of their teeth, all of the things you're allergic to like cauliflower and nasty bits of spinach people get stuck in their teeth they pull out and put back on the plate? They could have more likely have picked their nose with a butter knife than done your bizarre swishing scenario! All of their snotty nose hairs and pus-dried mucus ooze from their nostrils on some butter knife. Maybe they used a fork to scratch their nasty dandruff and lice scalp in this bizarre world you live in where people swish like that. EVEN IF THEY DID THOSE THINGS, it's the SOAP, you old buzzard! The soap washes it off! They rinse it off later too!"
"It just don't see why they would dump the water into the soak. Just pour it into the sink!"
"It doesn't matter! There are way worse things in there than backwash!"
"Oh, so they should just add more gross things into it?"
"IT'S THE SOAP IN THE WATER THAT MAKES IT OKAY."
"The soap DOES NOT make backwash not be backwash!"
"How do you function as a human being, thinking these things?"
"What?"
"How do you exist on the earth, as a person, strikingly beautiful I must add, but as a rational species that we are, how could your level of thinking have ever occurred?"
"You think I'm still beautiful?"
"I married you, didn't I? What I was thinking, I'll have to ask myself now though! Clearly my interviewing process needs more work!"
"I didn't realize you thought I was still beautiful."
"Maybe I'm the one that's high. What world am I really living in right now, where people think these kinds of things, and I married one of those people."
"You haven't told me I was beautiful in a long time."