Don't Remember Her

Don’t Remember Her
She was walking home. She had had a long day and was in no mood for home and its bull. A million thoughts zoomed through her head demanding to be heard. They were just like her. She wanted, for once, someone to listen. Someone to listen to her and just be there for her. Sadly, all her friends had lost that position. They had lost that place in her heart. They had no right to care for her. No right.
No one understood her. They were too busy thinking of boys, make-up, popularity, or stupid shit that didn’t really matter. They did not understand pain, loss, or any angst that hit them in the face. They were too vain for their own good. She could cry in front of them and they wouldn’t understand. Her friends were no longer human; they were aliens. She was all alone in this harsh and cold world.
She felt alone too. Her heart ached, for someone, just a friend to be there. However, God hated her and had deprived her of that. She had a few close friends but they just didn’t get her pain. Nobody did. The only person who would get it would be the one that lived through it. Nobody could see her scars that were imprinted on her forever. They didn’t see the tears that fell from her pale cheeks. They couldn’t see her. She was invisible. Sometimes, she liked it that way and was glad to be hidden. Other times, she wanted to scream and cry for not being heard.
Sometimes she just wanted to leave. She wanted to go away, from this place, from home, from the world. She was better off dead. No one would miss her; no one would remember her. She didn’t want anyone to remember her. People said she was a bad influence, bad luck so she hoped that her memories were erased. She knew that her “loved” ones would be happy to see her leave. She wanted to remember nothing, no one. She wanted to leave this hell, to go somewhere she would at least be acknowledged. She just wanted to leave. Forever.
“Take me away God,” she whispered looking at the clear blue October sky.
It was a windy but sunny day. It was too cheerful for her taste, but it was quiet and dry to keep her sane. She glanced at the sky once more, her eyes pleading and her vision suddenly foggy. Shaking her head, she kept on walking down. One of her headphones fell and she sighed. Bending down, she picked it up and secured it into her ear. A new song was playing but she didn’t mind much. Trying to concentrate on the lyrics, she dodged a pile of leaves. She gazed at them for a second, remembering the times where she had fun with leaves. When she let loose and just became a kid. When none of this over-whelming pain had engulfed her. When she was just being her.
Then she would be sucked into reality. Where all that happened to her was pain and tears. Pain and tears. The tears feel. They fell quickly and swiftly. Each one was heavy but felt good to let go. Each one had a story to it and each one was tied to her.
She stepped on to the road and began to cross it. However, she didn’t see the truck speeding towards her and she didn’t feel anything but more pain when it hit her. All she saw was the blinding white light leave her eyes before she was sucked into darkness.
Where she belonged.

She opened her eyes to an annoying beep. She saw people, many people. She looked around slowly and saw she was on a hospital bed with needles and tubes in her. She let out a raspy breath and looked at the people surrounding her. She saw her “friends”, her family, and new people she didn’t recognize. A doctor came up to her, touched her head, and checked her eyes. She closed them, the sharp pain in her chest not going away now. It hurt; it hurt a lot. Someone said her name timidly and she opened her eyes.
She saw her mother come up. Her mother was in tears and she looked worried.
“Yea mom?” she asked quietly.
“Why didn’t you watch where you were going? Why didn’t you take notice of the truck? You were probably listening to your stupid iPod and look where it got you,” she said her voice raising an octave.
She sighed and closed her eyes. Her mom was, once again, complaining. She was on her deathbed and her mom was yelling at her. Her dad put a hand on her shoulder and steered himself forward. They locked eyes and she felt her eyes swell up.
“Daddy…” she said hoarsely now fully crying.
“How…how a-are you f-feeling?” he asked stuttering. Her dad was stuttering.
“Awful. Everything hurts. But that’s nothing new,” she whispered. He choked on a sob and squeezed her hand. She gripped his with as much strength she had. He grasped her small one firmly, fresh tears falling.
Her dad. He had been her rock, her idol. She looked up to him and could count on him. Seeing him like this was not good. She felt horrible for making him cry and it tore her heart when she saw him break.
“Don’t leave,” he whispered a tear falling on to her hand.
“I need to. You and I both know it’s for the best. Don’t you want me to be happy?” she whispered. Her mom let out a confused cry but they ignored her.
“What else? But don’t leave me like this,” he begged. “Please don’t,” she whispered her voice cracking. He let go and walked away. She could see him violently shaking and she closed my eyes silently praying for this to be over.
“What is going on? What are you talking about?” her mom said now angry.
“Don’t do this now and here,” my dad, said looking at her.
“I want to know what the hell is going on. She’s my daughter too,” her mom demanded. She squeezed her hands into fists wanting to punch her mother.
“If you want to know so badly, and then take a look into my world,” she gritted pointing to her book bag. Inside her book bag, was her diary. The diary she had started when she had felt this way. There were murmurs going around the room but she shut them all out. She could hear the doctor and her dad talking.
“Will she live?” he asked.
“No. Her heart is slowly downing. She probably has an hour. I’m sorry,” the doctor said gently.
She let out a sigh but quickly froze again when she heard her dad cry.
“Don’t do this. Please fight,” her grandfather, said coming up. She looked at him with teary eyes.
“I was never a fighter. Promise me, you’ll never come back to this hell after I leave. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt,” she whispered gesturing to her scowling grandmother.
“I promise, my dear. I promise,” he said and broke down crying.
Her heart just twisted into another piece. Her little brother and sister came up and she smiled softly at them. Her sister blubbering and crying and her brother were having trouble breathing. She slowly opened her arms and they attacked her with a hug.
“Please!” her brother wailed. She stroked his hair, tears falling. She would miss them. They were her light. Her sister just shook her head and ran out of the room, crying.
She soon closed her eyes and heard everyone leave. When she opened her eyes, she saw her three best friends sitting there all crying. She sighed and looked at them sadly. The usually hyperactive monkey came up to her and enveloped her into a hug.
“I hate you. Why are you leaving?!” Yvette said tears streaming down her face.
“I’m sorry, but I have to. Venting is just not gonna help this time,” she said softly stroking her back.
Yvette hugged her tightly and let the short one come up. They just looked at each other sadly.
“What did I do wrong?” Bambi whispered.
“Nothing, I swear. It was all me. I wanted to go and finally I’m getting my wish,” she said her voice cracking. They both erupted into a fit of tears.
Bella came up to her last and hugged her tightly not saying a word. She didn’t have the guts to.
“Whose gonna annoy me now?” she asked sadly.
“You have plenty of people,” she said softly. Bella hugged her once more and they went to the corner.
Her heart suddenly started aching and her breath was becoming quicker and raspier. She opened her eyes frantically. Bintee, realizing what was going on, called her parents and grandparents. Everyone piled in and begged her to keep on fighting.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Im giving in on my own will,” she whispered softly tears running down now.
This was what she wanted and she was getting it. She looked at her family and her friends wishing to wipe the tears away. However, she couldn’t. Once again, she was the cause for their hurt and pain. Her dad came to sit beside her and took her hand. Her mother stood behind him shaking. Her grandpa moved to her other side, all her other friends surrounding them.
“I love you all,” she whispered her heartbeat slowly fading.
“I love you too,” they all chorused their voices raspy and full of remorse. Suddenly her mother shrieked and her diary fell to the ground. Her mother looked at her with guilty eyes and opened her mouth to say something.
However, she didn’t get to say it.
“Don’t remember me,” I said softly. And then it was the end.
Her heart slowly faded away and stopped beating. Relief flooded through her soul and her heart was suddenly pieced together. She felt a sense of peace and protection wash over her soul and she smiled. She was home at last. The place where she could be happy.
Don’t remember her she said.
But I know I won’t be able to forget her.