Omar's Diary Thursday 30th April 2015
By Alan Russell
- 765 reads
That picture at the top is of me back at the vets for a little problem I had that the servants noticed the other night. To help the vets reach a diagnosis they had to supply a sample of urine. Not theirs but of mine. This was a most undignifying experience for me and I shall not bore you with the details of how it was collected. All I can say is that if lady servant offers you one of her business cards make sure it is not given to you from a plastic box.
Not only was the whole experience so far undignified but it was also nearly a disaster for the lady servant. As we were driving to the vets man servant had to make a very sudden stop. I rolled around in my carrier which fortunately did not fall off the seat. However lady servant did say something almost rude as she realised the sample was on her lap but she was holding it very tightly. No maps of Africa on her trousers, not even one of the Falkland Islands either.
As soon as we arrived at the vets another servant took my sample away for analysis. While that was being done I was subjected to the most vigorous of examinations. I was poked, prodded and squeezed for a good ten minutes. I am sure it would have gone on longer if it weren’t for the vet being called away to look at my sample under a microscope. Apparently all the samples were alright but as a precaution I was prescribed some steroids and painkillers.
As I have said in an earlier diary ‘Kittens…..take it from your Uncle Omar…….don’t buy drugs……get ill, fall out of a window and your servants will buy them for you……..only kidding…….drugs are bad for you’.
I heard the vet explain to the servants that they put the sample in a centrifuge. From what I have seen man servant reading I understand there are a lot of centrifuges in Iran but for some reason not many other countries are happy about this and have imposed various sanctions to try and force the Iranians to destroy them. If the centrifuges are used for good purposes like at the vets then I cannot see what is wrong and what all the fuss is about. Iran must be planning to use the centrifuges for something very unpleasant to warrant all the fuss that has been going recently.
That was my quick spin through international affairs.
What was amazing at the vets was that my sample was being analysed while I was being examined. I heard the servants say that when they go to their vets they get a letter saying they have to go somewhere else about a sample and then wait over a week for the results.
Anyway, I am much better now. There is no need for a bell to be hung around my neck as man servant so cruelly suggested to warn other felines. Nor will there be any bulletins about my health posted on the gates of the Omar residence. This is because there are no gates.
Man servant has been very busy taking a brief sojourn from his studies and working in the garden. Neighbours on both sides have been working in theirs so I assume my servants are trying to keep up with them. Our organic patch has been trimmed and weeded. Today there was a major success as the man servant has started to make a log pile at the top of the garden in a shady corner. His plan is that this pile will be a block of apartments for insects like woodlice, ants and stag beetles which will form part of a food chain and attract different birds into the garden. Where he turned over the earth and levelled it for the new apartments I have already seen a pair of robins picking something up from the ground. I do hope the insects move in soon as he will be so disappointed if they don’t.
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