The "Oi" Game

"Oi!" Jim shouted. "OI!"

The man, about thirty feet in front of us glanced over his shoulder quickly and turned away again, just as fast.

"Look at him," Jim laughed, "OI!"

The man quickened his pace. Jim laughed again. "Your turn."

"OI!" I shouted. A woman across the road looked over to us and smiled, a feint look of recognition on her face. "OI!" I shouted again after she had looked away. "What's the point, Jim?"

"It's interesting to me to see who looks and who doesn't, who quickens their pace - those are the ones who have things to hide."

"You reckon?"

"Sure. OI!" A man who had just just come onto the street from the pub looked at us.

"What?" He shouted, "You want some? You fucking prick."

"Sorry mate, thought you was someone else!" Jim shouted. "He's dangerous." He said to me.

"Yeah? No shit!"

We watched the man walk away, cross the road and disappear into a kebab shop. Jim turned around and saw a group of women. "Hey girls! Hey! What you up to? You wanna go drinking with us?" I always admired Jim's confidence and apparent lack of shame.

"Fuck off, 'tard," one of the women said.

"Fuck you, bitch!" Jim said back.

"No! Fuck you!"

"C'mon, Jim, let's get going." I said.

"No, that bitch called me a 'tard. Hey!" Jim continued, "come here and say that, I'll fucking, I'll... whatever, baby, now you're closer I can see you ain't worth a shit."

"Cunt!" She said. Jim threw a chip at her, she turned around and smacked him straight in the jaw.

"Bitch!" Jim went to swing back at her and I managed to catch his arm.

"Jim! You can't do that!"

"Fucking bitch just punched my jaw!"

"It don't matter man, it don't matter!"

"I'll get that cunt!"

"Leave it man, you said yourself she ain't worth it." We walked on, behind the group of women.

"That one in the blue mini is hot, nice arse."

"Yeah, Jim, she has."

We followed them into the next club. I bought the round. We took a seat, the group of women kept looking over at us.

Jim went to the bar when he saw the woman that had hit him was standing there. "Hey, you got a good right hook, baby."

"Get lost."

"No, I'm serious, baby, you got a good punch on ya. What else you got?"

"You coming on to me?"

"Yeah." Again, more of that confidence I admired. The next I saw was Jim laying on the floor clutching his dick and balls through his jeans, she'd floored him with a knee.

Jim dragged himself up and over to our table. "Let's get the fuck outta here, bitch caught me again." As we walked out I tipped my head to the table of women and grinned a little at them.

Back on the street, Jim started his "Oi!" game again. This time a big guy, about six five square, turned around and came towards us. We legged it, Jim's confidence obviously faltering.

We turned into an alleyway. There was a guy standing at the end. "Oi!" Jim shouted. "Come on, join in," he said to me.

"Oi!" We shouted in unison, I unsure as to why I was joining in.

The guy at the end of the alley turned to look at us. Jim started to run towards him, still shouting "Oi!"

As Jim got to him, he stuck out his fist and swung at the guys head. The guy dropped down. Jim started to kick him as he lay on the floor. I ran up behind Jim. "What the fuck you doin'? Leave him, he's had enough! What the fuck?!"

"My manliness has been insulted tonight! I must rebuild my masculinity!"

"You're a fucking head-case."

The man was covered in blood, streaming down his face. I pulled Jim back, he swung at me. I tried to duck, but he caught the top of my head. I stumbled back and took a swing at him. I caught him in the chest. He buckled slightly, then I grabbed him and pulled him away and pushed him against the wall. "Calm the fuck down! What've you done to him?! He did nothing to you."

"I needed it, that bitch, she kneed by balls, man, downed me in the club. Fucking can't have that, I have a reputation."

"Only to yourself."

"And you, you idolise me, look how ready you are to follow me!"

"Not any more!"

"Bullshit, you need me, you fucking need me in your dull and boring life."

"Jim, FUCK YOU!" I swung at him and started to pummel his face, he soon fell to the floor covered in blood, my knuckles grazed. I walked away. Then I ran. I ran and ran until I got five, six streets away. I stopped to catch my breath. My mobile rang. It was Jim. "Fuck off Jim, I'm not interested any more."

"Come on, we're even."

"Fuck you, man, I've had enough of your shit." I hung up. The phone rang again. I tossed it in the street and walked home.