Old dear

She seems like a sweet old lady, shuffling along, little dog in tow. A Jack Russell I think. It waddles along behind her then stops and squats. The old lady waits patiently then leans down slowly and scoops the mess into a black plastic bag. She pats the dog on the head and says something I can’t hear before carefully straightening up.

She looks around for a bin but there isn’t one. She frowns, then ties a tight knot in the bag and slips it into her large beige handbag. The bag matches her coat, skirt and shoes; the floral mauve of her headscarf the only splash of colour.

She and the dog move off again. I watch as they pause outside the vet’s surgery, the old lady gently coaxing the dog up the steps. The door closes behind them.

A few minutes later the old lady emerges, alone. She folds the dog’s lead and tucks it into her pocket. She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief and looks up at the sky. Then she shakes her head and begins walking back the way they’d come, pulling her coat around her against the cold. She looks even more frail and vulnerable now.

I follow her until she reaches the alleyway, then move round and stand in front of her. She stops and peers up at me.

“Excuse me, young man. Can I help you?”

“Yeah, give me the money.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Give me the money. I saw you get it out of the cash machine, now fucking give it to me.”

She looks me up and down for a moment, shakes her head sadly and opens the bag, bringing out the purse. She clicks it open, muttering to herself. “Dearie me, what is the world coming to? And such language.” She unfolds the wad of notes and holds it out.

I snatch it out of her hands. “You got anything else in that bag? Don’t hold out on me.”

She frowns for a moment then dips her hand into the bag. “Well, I suppose you might want this.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“I believe they call it a Taser.”

The shock hits me in the chest. I slam back into the wall and slide to the floor. I look up and blink away tears to see her fiddling with a black plastic bag. “Oh shit,” I say as she tips the bag and the contents fill my mouth.