THE MOST KISSED GIRL IN THE WORLD

The most kissed girl in history, even in death her serene face still turned heads. In the late 1880s a body was retrieved from the murky waters of the River Seine along the south bank of Paris, but her name and how she drowned, to this day has remained a mystery. The pathologist on duty at the Paris mortuary became so enchanted by her face with her enigmatic smile that he named her Anna and had a moulder make a plaster cast of her face.

 Anna was one of fourteen unknown persons laid out in a chilled room fronted by a plate glass window before which an endless train of the curious would pass, in hope that some of the passersby would recognise some of the morgue’s unidentified guests. Unknown Paris, a volume of engravings from 1893 about the city’s less savoury landmarks, said of it: “There is not a single window in Paris that attracts more onlookers than this.” From here Anna would be disposed off in an unmarked pauper’s grave.

Newham Council in the heart of East London began to roll out first aid courses for its secondary schools to complement academic learning with practical skills.

Copies of the Anna’s beautiful serene face mask soon became popular within the Bohemian Parisian Society; they would compare her enigmatic smile to that of Mona Lisa. Over the years many masks and paintings were made and continued to be sold across Europe.

At the gates of Ken Livingstone Academy named after Red Ken, a controversial Mayor of London in the2000’s, it was the morning after a class had their new first aid lesson. There were mutterings between the parents about the use of Resusci Anna. Why was she white, why was she female? They had no right to use her face without consent! One of the stay-at home-husbands offered to paint the dummy rainbow colours. Ms Lolla who had a low ranking job with the Race and Ethnic Commission explained, “It’s a bit deeper than that Jack, this is positive discrimination!” Ms Lolla was smartly dressed, business like and young with ambitions of a career in the commission.

 Mr Patel added his view, “I don’t care what bloody colour or sex the dummy is as long as my Monica can practice pumping something up.” With that he left the playground!

It was decided between the rest of them to start a petition and get all the parents on board. Ms Lolla was to contact the parent teachers association to arrange a meeting with the school governors; Jack was going to mention it to his mate, a councillor at his social club.

In the 1940’s Mr Laerdal was a toy and doll maker, remembering a copy of Anna’s bewitching death mask on the wall of his grandparents’ home in Norway. He started making Anna Dolls, at the time people were troubled and queried if it was ethical to use her face without consent, but the dolls were a still a big seller.

Jack was a Black cab driver just like his father until Uber took over the roads and his old cab failed the environmental low emission test. Although there was one advantage to this, on a Friday night Jack, on his way home from his social club crosses the road to the Indian takeaway and then gets a free ride home from the delivery driver. Thanks to the wife they can still have their Friday night treat due to the success of her new nail bar where in the back of the shop it was does rather well selling adult sex paraphernalia.

 In 1958  Dr. Peter Safar, a pioneer in emergency medicine, developed a method of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation combined with chest compression to maintain blood oxygen levels in an unconscious victim. Dr. Safar presented a paper on this technique in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Safar believed his methods could be employed by those outside the medical field to save lives, provided laypeople were given adequate training in his techniques. To effectively teach this procedure to them, he envisioned having a life-sized doll that novices could practice cardiopulmonary resuscitation on.

Word got around the schools in the borough and many other parents agreed with the protest and gave their support to the issue. Jack caught up with his mate the councillor, but had no luck as the councillor had more pressing issues to deal with. Whilst Jack was in the designated smoking area, he got chatting to Barbara who after two failed marriages had given up on men and used the club as a place to socialise and chill out.

Barbara was an old hack for the Newham Recorder. She liked nothing better that to hang on to her job to keep her in a life she had become accustomed to. Barbara was expecting to be retired now, but alas due to the equal opportunities law Barbara has now having  to work another seven years to draw her pension. Barbara continues to work with vigour and was every interested in what Jack had to say to please her editor with another topical local story.

Mr Laerdal with expertise in doll making and with his pioneering work with soft plastics was soon approached to create and manufacture a realistic resuscitation training mannequin. Mr. Laerdal once again set to work using Anna’s death mask for the face that was proving so popular with his dolls.

The parent teachers association agreed whole heartedly with the complaints from the parents and organised a meeting with the head teacher and the governors as well as organising a protest. On a cold drab February evening Jack with his son Billy Boy headed for the school, as they turned into Ken Livingstone Road there was sea of protesters blocking the road with banners, chanting, “White is not Right.” Nearby was as a police van with misted up windows, full of riot police stationary in a no parking zone completely blocking the pavement.

Barbara was an Irish emigrant from the west coast, she still had her Irish brogue as harsh as the winter storms from the Atlantic Irish coast. Barbara had experienced pockets of prejudice when she first came to London in the 1970s. Even then some landlords would not rent rooms out to the Irish, colours or dogs. Barbara with her rosy red cheeks and Goldie locks hair arrived in the fittest of health but after two failed marriages and a life of comforting herself with far too much smoking and drinking, her health had deteriorated. Barbara with her mottled complexion and thinning grey hair was now a shadow of former herself. How age is a cruel master!

 Up the road there were a barrage of whistles and singing along with types of banners, it was the local BAME, LGBTQ+ and the Rainbow communities. After their protest about their issues with the council, they had marched from the town hall to the Ken Livingstone School gates in solidarity with their fellow protesters.

In the middle of all the melee Barbara soon became over whelmed, her body gave in and she collapsed to the ground, hitting her head on the tarmac! Ms Lolla’s daughter, Victoria rushed to her aid, whilst Jack cleared a space around the casualty them continued to phone 999. Victoria went through her first aid training and discovered Barbara was not breathing and devoid of any pulse. She continued administering CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) as learned from the previous week. It was physically demanding but after several minutes Barbara came to. Victoria followed up by rolling Barbara to one side and placing her in the recovery position before attending to a minor cut on Barbara’s forehead. The crowd started clapping as Ms Lolla gave her daughter a big hug.

A police woman sprinted up to Barbara with a portable defibrillator, used for life-threatening cardiac dysrhythmias, fortunately it was not needed but the police blanket placed over Barbara was most comforting. The rest of the police crew, who had been quiet until now decanted from their mini bus and continued to disperse the protesters to make way for the ambulance. Eventually the over worked ambulance staff arrived to transport Barbara to the nearest hospital available, leaving the police an opportunity to send the protesters on their way.

Alas the police plan was soon scuffled by the Director of Education for Newham council. Mr Evens was a tall dignified figure dressed with the appropriate hat and coat for a person of his stature. He always used to shop at Debenhams but now has to buy at Marks & Spencer, but it isn’t the same. He had just come from the meeting inside the school and addressed the protesters. With authority he spoke through a loud speaker, unfortunately every time he spoke too loudly it would perform an echoing, piercing whine. Mr Evens adjusted the volume control as good as any sound engineer to remedy the problem.  

He thanked them all for turning out on such a night, “The committee has reviewed the first aid courses and after trawling the internet have ordered neutral coloured, non binary, neutral gender, none cultural resuscitation dummies with no name and we will be rolling then out very shortly, I wish you all a safe journey home, and good night.”

With sound of rejoicing cheers from the crowd, Ms Lolla turned to Jack gave him a big hug and said, “Well done Jack we did it.” Several weeks earlier Ms Lolla had given a talk at the school to the six formers on Race and Ethnics in the community; she felt in a small way than she had inspired the pupils and parents to move Newham forward making it a better place. To celebrate Jack invited Ms Lolla and her daughter to his social club and to make contact with Barbara for an update. On the way Jack’s son, Billy Boy asked him, “What does non binary, neutral gender mean?” Jack responded, “You’re better off speaking to your mum when we get home, she can explain it better than me.”

Although Ms. Lolla, (Corinne) thought Jack and her were very different, getting to know Jack a bit better her thoughts of Jack was a good, kind man and she had found a new friend. As for Jack’s wife, she thinks Jack should stop helping the single mums on the estate with minor DIY and emergencies to their properties and get off his fat arse and get a job. As for Jack he went through life with a kind heart but he was never soft, after all he had grown up in London’s toughest borough. He could get on with anyone and when he was a cabbie every paying customer was a best friend.

Barbara after her recovery evaluated her life style and thought more of her health and wellbeing. She also jointed the local Saint John Ambulance and in a couple of weeks after completing her training, was giving Ms Lolla, Jack and the other parents from the school gates their first, first aid lesson.

As for Resusci Anna she was finally laid to rest in the dark dusty basement of Ken Livingstone School, with the other schools’ discarded not wants, never to be seen again. Today CPR has saved around 2.5 million lives, thanks partly to Anna. Thank you Anna whoever you were, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten!