URSULA

"Ursula; Is that your real name?"

"Of course."

"Is that your real hair?"

"Every strand."

"Are those your real tits?"

"Yes."

"Blimey. You've got it all, haven't you? Except, you haven't got the job."

"That's a shame."

"Ursula, love - it'll be an even greater shame when, after becoming a nanny to the children, I find you becoming something else to my husband."

"Well, I'm appalled. You don't even trust me?"

"It's my husband, Ursula - he's a sucker for attractive ladies."

"But you already saw what I looked like, from the photo I enclosed with my application form."

"Yes, sorry Ursula. I really wanted a male nanny. You see, from the picture, with all that lovely hair, well-applied make-up and those knock-out knockers - not to mention the exotic name - I thought you must have been a man in drag."

Around 2003