WHAT YOU NOTICE FIRST

What you notice first when Christmas is coming: You have at least a quarter of a years' notice, courtesy of any shop that you happen to go into. Then when Christmas really is getting near, the first thing you notice when trying to go into a shop is that you no longer can; you have to now barge into it.

What you notice first when you start working at a new place: You don't notice anything first. Everything is one great mass of confusion.

What you notice first when you're in love: You can't breathe properly and can't sleep at night. No sorry, that's what you notice first when you've got a nasty cold.

What you notice first when someone has a change of image: They say, "Notice anything different?"

What you notice first when somebody does something really nice for you: You come round in hospital, after having passed out.

What you notice first when the person you fancy speaks to you: You no longer fancy them. Or their clothes are suddenly hanging off and it wasn't their own doing.

What you notice first when you notice something last: You were too pre-occupied with noticing other things.

15 January 2003