nazi-zombies 2 the invasion of the Dump

Ten years has passed since the last Zombie Nazi threat was crushed.  Bob Garage was no more;  Begbie had  resigned  the  reins of power to my now Ex-wife Rhiannon, who had  run off  with  Begbie’s  security officer; six years ago.  I have to say, that pissed me off quite a bit.  After all, right under me nose that was… There’d be a call from this Brit security officer and he would say, “I  have to call your wife away on  top secret government business, on the orders of Begbie  McDonald.”  “Fine” I’d say and she pop off for a week or two. Within year she left me for the fucker.   I mean… the fecking cheek of it.   Anyhow, I had the flat and Glan chose  to stay  with me until he and his lover Gina  found a place of their own.
          Times were tough, but there was plenty of work,  I just lacked the will or the drive.   The real difficult thing was entertainment.  Big budget movies were no more   Also there was no face-book.  Moreover, no fecking torrenting   so I couldn’t steal any porn.  The fact was,  We had been so busy with our own  nazi-zombie  infestation, that we hadn’t seen what was going on in the  States.
          Just before the referendum of 2016, the USA was having problems with a nazi-zombie of their own.  We had Bob Garage… they had  Donald  Dump.  Dump was the architype zombie nazi. He’d appear and people wold go fucking mad; either  killing each other; or applauding him beating up people in the streets. That  or eating people for no fucking reason at all. The  Police had to call order. But to be honest, it was hard to see who was the  nazi-zombie or who wasn’t when it came  to the coppers there.
           What made it worse for the Americans  was how quickly the infection spread.  The last images we had before everything went to shit over here,   were  huge stadiums,  filled to the brim with Nazi-zombies growling and  grinding and eating each other; I have to say,  that it was really scary to watch.

Then ,just as our world  went belly up,  all communication with the United States was lost.

 Ten years passed, and there were still nothing but rumours. Letters secretly posted about huge nazi-zombie concentration camps  were heard of, but never found.  Also stories were told of places   where people were either  used as food, or turned into nazi-zombies.   After our success in defeating Bob Garage and his zombie nazi’s   the first British republican government got their top  boffins  onto any data we could get from America.   However, most of it was utter rubbish. Endless re-runs of the Waltons, where the voice of Jon Bob  was changed to zombie  growling. That or “I love luzi” apparently  a nazi zombie  favourite,  involving some zombie eating a famous  person or  two.  I Must admit  I found the one where Luzi ate  Chuck  Norris  quite amusing. Anyhow,  It was that  Or images of the fucker Dump endlessly making those nasty Nazi-zombie noises from his  wet fucking drooling lips. It was easy to see why people were turning on each other.   The boffins   final  conclusion  was that this strain of the  STV  could be more virulent than ours,  However, they didn’t know. And, to be honest, since Rhiannon left me for that security fucker, I didn’t care.  I was pissed off  with all of them. 
         Then,  about  three month’s  ago,  I got a call from Begbie.
         “Hey how’s  it hanging?” he asked.  I was still pissed off with his security secret service agent and told him as much. 
         “Aye, I am sorry, I am.” There was a sort of insincerity in Begbie’s  voice.  He had changed, but I expected that had to do with the power. “look, can I come over I have something to show you.”
         “where are you?”
         “eerum  outside your front door.”
           I opened the front door and there was Begbie,  all armarnied up.  Gone was the stubble and the thug look. Instead there was a slicked back  clean shaven unrecognisable man.  With a fucking Hitatchi  case… I mean a Hitachi case, he looked like my last parole officer only  in a new suit.
         “what do you want?”
          “I've something  to show you.”
          Reluctantly  I  moved aside and let him in.
           Begbbie came in, and  sat down on my crumpled sofa.  He opened his suit case and the laptop  inside.
          “What I have to show you is top, fucking secret…got it. No blabbing to no fucker…get it!”
           I nodded,  as Begbie  inserted the  memory stick into the laptop. He pressed a  couple of keys and the drive came on.
           “We  got this footage last week. Our spies in the states paid a heavy price for getting it out. Some… were eaten…some went through the process…” he coughed.”…We lost Angela.” 
          “What do you mean?”
            Begbie looked down “I mean she fuckin turned. This  STV has no effect on  anything ! even   space pants  had no impact!  This STV has a  99%  infection rate,  99%... we found only compassionate people had a small chance of avoiding infection.   Watch this.”
           The screen was jumpy,  and then blurred. Suddenly it moved into sharp focus. It was a military training camp. Thousands and thousands of  Aamerican Nazi-zombies were there,  marching about;  The low him of their growling and snarling made me  feel sick with fear.  Suddenly  the image  was cut short; and Donald  Dump was there.  His  shitty orange skin was covered with  vile green lumps, his eyes were a flaming red his  hair well , that was as awful as ever.  
         “ghysrs skkslflhhh”  said  Dump.
          “-they still  talk utter bollocks don’t they… my fucking god-“
          “-pay fucking attention.”
          “gursrrsughshshshs”  pause  “guruyughstsyshhhurgh” 
          At that point Dump got  up and moved to the left, he ggot uo and lurched and staggered to the left where this huge map of Euprpe stood. He  pointed  to a map of Europe. Gowlled a bit  Then he started slapping  loads of magnets  shaped like planes, planes bombs and missiles…all  pointing at  the UK.
        “The  fucker is planning an invasion!” 
         “Oh My fucking  God!”
         “we have to be ready.” 
         “too fucking right, is the Channel Tunnel still working,? cause I’m off to France.”
          “Davey,  I need  you…we need you..we need the old gang once more.”
           That pissed me off cause my name aint  Davey, 
           "In case you don’t know Angela  is a fucking  Nazi- Zombie,   oh you do, you told me that!   Dark steve moved to Morocco with Jordan, Rhiannon left me for your security chief of staff and Glan wants to move to Scotland with his new partner.  There is no us, unless you  hope to  call in the Game of Thrones crew.  And we all know what happened to them. They are all fuckin dead.  J R R Martin… what a fuckin  bastard.”
        “Dark Steve, is with me… I have  both him and Jordan on a plane from Marrakesh,  Rhiannon says she wants a chat with you,  and I have  a secret weapon. “
        “Who? What?”
        “Pierce  Brosnan.”
         “what? NOO!  He’s  no fucking good!  Why not the other Bond?  Brosnan  is a feckin waste of space!”
         “Oi, don’t you dare dish the Brosnan! He is with us all the way.”
          I sighed.“OK what’s the plan?”
          “To take out  Dump before he invades.” We have  the means to get your team to Washington  DC and from there, you can break into   the Whitehouse  and take that Dump down. “
          “So Its  Buckingham palace all over again?   Need I  remind you, that we had  dragons helping us that time.  How are we  going to take  that Dump out if we don’t; have some sort of support? “
          Begbie looked at me. I could see he was in  trouble;  He looked down and moody. I sighed  I was about to nod, and say okay, its a shite plan but so was the other one, when   Suddenly  a strange sound filled the room.  I looked up. What the fuck is that?
         “ Oh shit shit shit! Shit, we’re  too late!” Begbie said, panic rose in his voice. Come on! Now! Fucking move it!”
         We both ran outside. Begbie threw me in the back of his open door  limousine;  and onto Rhannon’s lap, who told me  to feck off.
          “Fucking drive!”  Begbie shouted.
           The  car  revved up and sped away at a terrifying speed. Outside, the sky was filled with planes. Bombs  burst all around us.  I looked  up.  In  the darkness, that was slowly  turning  to an early  fiery golden dawn,  I could see planes  opening  up  and parachutes deploying.  There were American Nazi-zombies  falling from the sky. The Invasion of the Dump had just begun.