zombie-nazi's part 2 what is and how to fight a nazi-zombie

Part 2:   what is and how to kill a zombie-nazi.

Zombie-nazi’s  are not like any  other forms  of Zombie.  Your average zombie, or undeadite, to give it a  posh sounding  latin term,  tend to have, as you know,  rotten skin,  failing organs weak teeth, sunken eyes and a need to devour human flesh. All of this is controlled by a  contagin that rests  inside the  brain.  This is where the difference between  the zombie and the zombie- nazi rests.
        Stage one of the disease:  Transerrance.
          I have found    is transferred by listening to a host.  Yes, this is a sound transferring  virus  or a   S.T.V. The  higher levels  of contagion within the host, the greater the risk  of transferring the contagion between  both the host body and the  next potential victim. The more the  victim listens  to the host the greater the contagion  is spread.  However, this  does not work unless the host is in close-ish  proximity to the victim.  This is why Bob  Garage, was so convincing to the hosts on the TV, when the rest of us watching him  say  “grrughaaaaarrrggghh”  thought he was talking utter bollocks.  I only know of one person who was infected by a Bob Garage  commentary on TV and that was my best mate  Derhman. But to be fair, he was down the pup and pissed at the time.   I have to say, I couldn’t believe it…  There was Bob talking bollocks… the sound was down and the music was thumping out. It was a great crack, then Derhman says to me
      “You know that Bob Garage make total sense  to me.” it was out of the blue and sort of weird as we never talked politics or religion before. I remember  I said “what you talking about?  the man’s a fucking zombie-nazi he makes as much sense as slapping sloppy wet  dog  shite across your face.”  At which point three guys, that were standing  around me, turned as stared at me.  I got the  feeling that they didn’t like that comment, so I fucked off home.  I never saw Derhman  again.  Sorry,  digressing,  back to topic.  Anyway,  once you have the virus, there is this compulsion to want to  eat your own brains.  This  might sound impossible due  to pain.  Whhat the virus does is actually deaden pain receptors, thus  a person  infected could hammer a hole in their head and not feel a fucking thing.  Ive actually seen this;  its gross. It really is… no I’m not giving you examples. 

Once stage two has started stage three develops quickly. This is called  Nazification. 
          Nazification tends to begin with blaming poor people, or  mentally ill people , or anyone that’s  different from the victim  for the problems  they are  having.  Like:- “feck I can’t get my beer can  open. Those feckin’ immigrants are fecking with my beer can.” You know, stuff like that. Look… I don’t talk like that around the kids…this is just between  you and me, okay?  Then it gets worse.  The victim then  starts to rant on buses or in pubs  about how the foreign immigrant or the bloke without  a job is fecking up  his o her life. Before long it’s  any religious denomination. 
          Finally it’s the Bob Garage phase.  This involves  going  to “EngKip”  meetings and listening to speeches by people who are in an advanced stage of  zombie-nazification.   Before too long they are reading  Bob’s  books.  Books like  “gurrghughhharrghh” .  and to be honest, that’s all its filled with.  Yes , with more of that unintelligible gobshite crap.  A mean  feck.   When a person is in a high state of zombie-nazification, then Bob ires the person and the zombie nazi  gets his or her uniform and starts stumbling about  looking  for people to infect.

The zombie-nazi, unlike your ordinary zombie, has  no brain. so blowing their skulls off tends to have no impact upon them at all.  Saying that, it does thed to  piss them off. They get really violent then.  I think its because they can’t  infect you as easily.  Or talk about their stupid zombie-nazi issues, which sounds like gobshite to an ordinary person, but  makes sense to a zombie-nazi.
        A zombie- nazi, when enraged is a difficult  beast to take  down.  This is because though they have no head, they can strangle you aand kick too  so beware.   I have  found that the best way to take out a zombie-nazi is to stab it through the heart: via the chest cavity.
         However, this causes the nazi-zombie, to burst into a ball of fire, so banging a stake into  the heart is unadvisable.  Instead, a good long pole or perhaps a gun, if you can find one is valuable assett.
          Another good way to take out a  zombie-nazi  is to dismember it.  This is  done with a strong sword  or a particularly long knife. Remember  that the bones are brittle too,  so that when you do take  out a zombie-nazi stand well clear. Also and  this is a must, never use a hammer.   The blows with a hammer  can  break the bones into particles.  I have found that the dust itself can carry a form of the  zombie-nazi  brain eating part of the virus, which can lead  to wanting to eat your own brain.
         The most effective way of dealing with the zombie-nazi virus is to take out  a major  host.  I found that out two years ago. I was on an expedition for food, things were getting short and the winters have been getting worse.  I needed  supplies , anything really,  the kids were hungry and the wife, well, difficult.  Anyhow, I was in a small village,   looking through  what was a Spar for canned goods, when  through the broken window of the store front, I saw a large van arrive.   It was full of zombie-nazi’s ,  I  can’t lie, I was shitting myself.  They were slowly getting out of the van, and for some reason known the them gathering  around one zombie-nazi in a black uniform.    I tend to go out fully armed; and have become a pretty good shot.  So despite quaking  with fear, I crouched my way to the window.  The chief  zombie-Nazi  was  grunting and growling, fuck knows what. So  I gulped and  stood up and shot the fecker as close range.   I watched   the body suddenly drop. And as it fell all the rest of them  burst into flames.  It was then I realised  two things,  to start with I must be immune  to the zombie-nazi  virus and two.  Bob Garage had to be taken out as soon as possible.